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Mother and Baby home Moseley

Hello Peter,
Your time line is very similar to mine .I was born on the 27th Feb 1950 I cannot remember anything about it.I was adopted shortly afterwards and my name changed to Barry Worrall.I didn't find out about the fact that I was adopted until late in life.I then like you decided to try and find more about my birth mother.My birth mother lived about 7 miles from.where I live now but she died in 2006.I have found a surviving relative in fact he is my moms brother ,my uncle,but said it was too late in life to follow up.I did achieve my goal which was a photo so I treasure this of course.I dont know who my original father was but my DNA indicates Eastern European. I dont think I will ever find out who my original father was.
Best regards
Barry
Hi there
I was born here on 15. January 1946 to Mary Elisabeth Houldey. I was told of my adoption when I was 12, but didn't receive my adoption papers until after my adoptive mother died in 1991. In 1996 I discovered the whereabouts of my birth mother and very carefully contacted her. She was enraged that I had found her but I had had counselling in London and had no qualms about it. She was finally curious as to what had become of me, so in 1997 she came over to Switzerland for a one-off meeting. She refused to tell me who my father was, she only said that the information would hurt me more than I already was. That set me thinking!!! She was extremely distant and warned me not to try and contact her two 'own children'. The outcome was not happy, and I finally did contact one of the "brothers" when she had died. His wife wasn't happy at all about it, and made it quite clear. However carefully I trod, it made me feel even more of an intruder - an outside, which of course I am.
To this day, I'm not sure which of the two mothers was the least suitable to be a mother to me and it has taken me nearly seven decades to become what I probably should have become in the first place, under a kind and loving mother's care. I believe I had always had some form of attachment disorder and I have never truly felt unconditional love apart from my lovely son.
If you are trying to trace your roots, tread with an open mind - it can be like a minefield.
 

CHINCH

master brummie
Some of the posts on here are so sad to read and have brought me to tears. I have no idea what it must be like to be adopted and to go through life wondering and hoping and then to be so cruelly disappointed.
My search is for my Great Grandfather who I cannot find any information on. My Grandmother was born in Buckinghamshire in 1915 to an unmarried Mother of 16 years old. I have taken a DNA test but the results are vague and of course don't actually pin point a distant relative so I am none the wiser. My Grandmother , although having been born in Bucks; lived in Birmingham and married a Brummie! I have no idea how she came to be in Birmingham , all I have is an autograph book dating from 1930-1934 with names such as E. Taylor, A. Wheatley, D. Stanmore, Harry/Henry? Lind/Lund? and most intriguingly, Mother. I have posted on here before but these names don't seem to ring a bell with anyone on this forum. I have always assumed the names are from people in a home where my Grandmother must have been sent as a baby but the names don't seem to crop up at any of the homes in Birmingham I have searched.
My Grandmother actually worked for some time at Sorrento hospital but I'm not sure of the years, possibly in the 60's.
It can be a difficult task trying to weed out information but sometimes there are kind people who do try and help.
I hope that some of your searches give you at least some peace of mind and some closure.
 

Nico

master brummie
Hi there
I was born here on 15. January 1946 to Mary Elisabeth Houldey. I was told of my adoption when I was 12, but didn't receive my adoption papers until after my adoptive mother died in 1991. In 1996 I discovered the whereabouts of my birth mother and very carefully contacted her. She was enraged that I had found her but I had had counselling in London and had no qualms about it. She was finally curious as to what had become of me, so in 1997 she came over to Switzerland for a one-off meeting. She refused to tell me who my father was, she only said that the information would hurt me more than I already was. That set me thinking!!! She was extremely distant and warned me not to try and contact her two 'own children'. The outcome was not happy, and I finally did contact one of the "brothers" when she had died. His wife wasn't happy at all about it, and made it quite clear. However carefully I trod, it made me feel even more of an intruder - an outside, which of course I am.
To this day, I'm not sure which of the two mothers was the least suitable to be a mother to me and it has taken me nearly seven decades to become what I probably should have become in the first place, under a kind and loving mother's care. I believe I had always had some form of attachment disorder and I have never truly felt unconditional love apart from my lovely son.
If you are trying to trace your roots, tread with an open mind - it can be like a minefield.
Yes, go like you are treading on eggshells!. And keep treading like that. I found I had to ask things, to lie, really. i.e. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve. Ask what I know is wrong to maybe get a right answer. Go in with an open mind. I went with the thought that I didn't get given away for happy reasons. I wrote to a sibling saying ,not that I knew they were my sibling but that my birth father may have worked for their parents. I knew he probably didn't. And people who knew her, gave me such a run around, because I thought they were protecting my sibling's mother. Turns out my sibling hated them and her mother said they were a couple of busy bodies not intent on caring. Just nosey. Then I found strangers so helpful sometimes. You are NOT an outsider, but we are looking at our story acted out, through a window, or looking at a stage. My cousin said I was new to the family just before they stopped speaking to me. That I didn't know how the family did things, they really meant how THEY did things. I said I am not new, you just didn't know about me till now. Some people live to be offended. On finding my birth mother, in a nutshell, I used an intermediary, who was a vicar whom we met in the search. They became a friend. They wrote to my BM using a line, and not a lie, being a person of the cloth, but weaving me in, that she might have known me, gave dates etc. It took a while for the penny to drop. The same with my BF. With one of his old neighbours. But.....
I was glad I was adopted. So, so lucky. I keep reminding myself.
Regarding your two unsuitable mothers, that is nothing to do with being adopted. I meet so many people in life who were not adopted, and don't ever got on with their mothers. Unmaternal mothers and fathers or who preferred their siblings openly. People who are closer to strangers. You never said what your brother thinks. I can't make it different and I know it hurts, but it was never your fault Rosemary.
 

Nico

master brummie
Some of the posts on here are so sad to read and have brought me to tears. I have no idea what it must be like to be adopted and to go through life wondering and hoping and then to be so cruelly disappointed.
My search is for my Great Grandfather who I cannot find any information on. My Grandmother was born in Buckinghamshire in 1915 to an unmarried Mother of 16 years old. I have taken a DNA test but the results are vague and of course don't actually pin point a distant relative so I am none the wiser. My Grandmother , although having been born in Bucks; lived in Birmingham and married a Brummie! I have no idea how she came to be in Birmingham , all I have is an autograph book dating from 1930-1934 with names such as E. Taylor, A. Wheatley, D. Stanmore, Harry/Henry? Lind/Lund? and most intriguingly, Mother. I have posted on here before but these names don't seem to ring a bell with anyone on this forum. I have always assumed the names are from people in a home where my Grandmother must have been sent as a baby but the names don't seem to crop up at any of the homes in Birmingham I have searched.
My Grandmother actually worked for some time at Sorrento hospital but I'm not sure of the years, possibly in the 60's.
It can be a difficult task trying to weed out information but sometimes there are kind people who do try and help.
I hope that some of your searches give you at least some peace of mind and some closure.
I am sure someone on here can help you or put you on the right track. Sounds a lovely book. People moved around a lot for work as I have found with my birth family.Very nomadic.! Not sure about the DNA thing. My friend's dad was traced via it. A chap in Australia looking for his birth mother. My friend knows her. He is not that bothered. I said leave it alone then. It's his mother. I stressed the eggshells and that it's real people. I would try Ancestry.
 

Alberta

Super Moderator
Staff member
I really feel for anyone searching either for parents who have had them adopted or children searching for their parents and myself and colleagues here on BHF have privately helped some of our members with their search.
Mostly searchers have some evidence 'name' to help but my husbands cousin is married to a lady now in her late 70s who was left on the doorstep of a local hospital shortly after birth and has had to live with this all her life.Given a name and surname and a new birthdate. How distressing to have no idea where you come from.
 

cba

master brummie
I really feel for anyone searching either for parents who have had them adopted or children searching for their parents and myself and colleagues here on BHF have privately helped some of our members with their search.
Mostly searchers have some evidence 'name' to help but my husbands cousin is married to a lady now in her late 70s who was left on the doorstep of a local hospital shortly after birth and has had to live with this all her life.Given a name and surname and a new birthdate. How distressing to have no idea where you come from.
It is possible by DNA, as shown by a recent case of a man who was found on the embankment in London as a baby during the second world war. Julia Bell did extensive research and he has now found out who his parents were and has met up with family. A DNA test with Ancestry and the help of a professional researcher can get the answers you need. I do have a contact with one if anyone is interested. Please private message me.
 

Nico

master brummie
It is possible by DNA, as shown by a recent case of a man who was found on the embankment in London as a baby during the second world war. Julia Bell did extensive research and he has now found out who his parents were and has met up with family. A DNA test with Ancestry and the help of a professional researcher can get the answers you need. I do have a contact with one if anyone is interested. Please private message me.
I saw that on Long Lost Family the series about foundlings so it is possible. I was helped by Norcap which did not survive the cuts but their support workers still operate. But they said my partner was better than them. She used her woman's intuition! I still have unfound siblings well I know where some might be but I don't want to rake up things for certain people so I am biding my time.
But good luck.
 
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