King Edwards Grammar School Camp Hill

[farmerdave]

Dennis, interested to see your list of participants in the Grand Charity Soccer Match of Staff v The School. This was played on the 4th April 1960 and on the back of the list are caricatures of the staff. The back row is easy: Swinden, Thain, Cleak, Ridsdale, Matthews and Wright. In the front row I recognise DI Thomas (2nd left), Marsden (third left) and Harry Brown with pipe. By elimination the other three must be Jones, Watson and Tomkinson. I didn't know that you played soccer as well as cricket. I was quite good at chess which did help Howard House win the shield one year. Dave.

 

[Dennis Williams]

Dennis, interested to see your list of participants in the Grand Charity Soccer Match of Staff v The School. This was played on the 4th April 1960 and on the back of the list are caricatures of the staff. The back row is easy: Swinden, Thain, Cleak, Ridsdale, Matthews and Wright. In the front row I recognise DI Thomas (2nd left), Marsden (third left) and Harry Brown with pipe. By elimination the other three must be Jones, Watson and Tomkinson. I didn't know that you played soccer as well as cricket. I was quite good at chess which did help Howard House win the shield one year. Dave.

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I may know you....but without a name? Hope you are my hero fives player Jim Tunnely....but I think he was above as both.....

 

[devonjim]

Soccer? In 1958 there was most unofficial team in Sunday Coronation league. How did you guys effect such a change in just two years?

 

[devonjim]

Just another thought, wasn't Ron Walker a school boy rugby international?

 

[farmerdave]

Hello Dennis. I am not the fives player that you named. I was absolutely rubbish at any sport. As far as I am aware, we did not know each other at school and I have only sort of got to know you through this Forum. Dave.

 

[Dennis Williams]

Just another thought, wasn't Ron Walker a school boy rugby international?

Yes, he was...and later played for Coventry and of course, was a stalwart for the old boys.....he died last year...had Alzheimers.....his funeral was a blast...so many old friends from all ages to say goodbye.........

 

[Dave89]

Hi

I well remember Tom's tirade after the bra incident at the school concert. His words have stayed with me. After the first fusillade
regarding the general misbehaviour at the concert, he added "and Mr Young (caretaker) has handed me an item this morning which leads me to believe that behaviour of a more serious nature took place" He then went into overdrive!
Six of us were to go to his office for the cane that afternoon. Four got six of the best, Peter 'Piggy' Beran (RIP) got 7 as
Tom missed once and caught him on the legs, then it was my turn. He asked me if I could think of any reason why I
should not be caned, and remembering his Quaker beliefs, I said that I thought violence only caused bitterness.
He told me to get out of his office and he didn't want to see me there again!

Kind regards
Dave

 

[Baker boy]

Dennis and Devon Boy, I never had many direct dealings with Tom Rogers so have no complaints. Dai Thomas was the most aggressive teacher with Buckley for french a close second.
However even today I have a guilty conscience about how we treated Sos Holingsworth who was stone deaf from his experiences in the first war.
I remember getting the slipper off Slade for breaking one of the ex Headmasters busts in the Hall/ Gym. I had 'Dunlop' on my backside for about 3 days after!

 

[Baker boy]

I was in the same year as Colin "Sam" Dodd and Michael "Monty" Meeson.

I kept in touch with Colin Dodd upto mid 60's Went his wedding and he came to mine. Lost touch when I moved North about 1965.

 

[Dennis Williams]

Dennis and Devon Boy, I never had many direct dealings with Tom Rogers so have no complaints. Dai Thomas was the most aggressive teacher with Buckley for french a close second.
However even today I have a guilty conscience about how we treated Sos Holingsworth who was stone deaf from his experiences in the first war.
I remember getting the slipper off Slade for breaking one of the ex Headmasters busts in the Hall/ Gym. I had 'Dunlop' on my backside for about 3 days after!

Quote: Equally ancient and also profoundly deaf was old Len ‘Soss’ Hollingworth, another of the old pre-war guard. Named after a well-known brand of sausage manufacturers of the day, Soss took science and was also a closet train spotter. Being so deaf it mattered not a jot that any train passing completely drowned out anything he said (not that folks were much moved by that anyway) for a good two minutes, and he would carry on regardless. However, there was nothing wrong with this eyesight. When the hiatus had passed he would mutter to Moggy Moore, his bete noire, “Did you get that number Moore?” Yes sir, “ And were you listening to me as well?”. Yes Sir. “Then would you mind sharing with us all what I just said about Boyles Law?” Moggy, being a good lad and very bright would then mouth the answer, probably correctly, who knows. Soss lip read everything, and was not daft. He would nod sagely, whilst we would fall about. From the class reaction he knew the game was afoot. “Right Williams, repeat what Moore just said.” …Blank stare. Wouldn’t know Boyle’s Law from my arse. Gotcha. “Moore and Williams, write out Boyle’s Law five hundred times in detention.” Game over. Wiped out.

 

[devonjim]

So saddened to read that Ron Walker died from Alzheimer's. Such a good athlete, my "Ted Dexter" bat scored more runs for Ron than it ever did for me!
Soss Hollingworth was a useful spin bowler he used to join in playground cricket games. Doc Kober introduced me to classical music in end of term records sessions held in lieu of maths. However he failed to teach me much pure maths. "Biggles" Bartlett, Tony Slade and Geoff Sanders used to accompany summer holiday trips.
I did witness Derek Corlett deflate Tom Rogers with the pacifist card, Tom, a shade of puce had him pinned to the wall by the lapels, I never ever knew why, Derek normally not one to court displeasure, calmly said "I thought you were a pacifist, sir". Tom blood pressure I guess 200/120 by his colour released him turned on his heels and walked out without a word.

 

[Dennis Williams]

What good news......I have every respect for Waverley Grammar grubs...a couple of my school mates passed for there....and I would LOVE any pics of my hero Viv.......and just because I can.....here's a snippet from my memories of that wonderful building.......

CAMP HILL YEARS 1953 – 1956
In 1953 I miraculously passed the ‘eleven plus’ exam for the Grammar school - King Edward VI Grammar School for Boys, Camp Hill.

Excuse me? Say again? At the time we were notified of this academic epiphany, I had absolutely no idea who, what or where the hell King Edward’s Camp Hill was, let alone why I was selected. Nor cared much I have to confess, for it was at the beginning of the long, hot Summer holiday of 1953: I was eleven, and there was still lots of cricket to play and trains to spot.

Mother reputedly chose it on the eleven plus form because it sounded “nicer” than Saltley Grammar, the nearest establishment to home. Not to say that folk from Saltley Grammar were in any way inferior or anything like that, the hell no (my wife went there after all), but Saltley was synonymous with the Gasworks at the time, and Mom was perhaps leaned a little bit more towards Hyacinth Bucket than the rest of the family. Like me, Dad didn’t seem too bothered. To the point of complete indifference it has to be said. But his insouciance was at least consistent, for he never showed a rat’s ass of interest in anything I did thereafter for the whole of the seven years I was resident. I think Nan was quite proud though, she was the one who went to parents evening at Albert Road, and followed my progress, and for my sins I very quickly grew to be prouder still. In the event, I can never thank Mom enough for her foresight with this choice of school, or lady luck for my good fortune. Halleleujah.

Anyway, cometh the first day of my new term, the journey consisted of a shortish 54 bus ride to Bordesley Station, then a short trudge up the eponymous Camp Hill, and there it was - in all it’s gothic splendour. The academic cathedral of KEGS Camp Hill that shrieked one thing above all else - TRADITION. I loved it from the moment I clapped eyes on it. The fairy tale towers, the sloping playground, the bike sheds, the funny building at the bottom of the playground (later discovered to be the Fives Court), the Girl’s school next door… I loved every nook and cranny of it. Almost as much as I hated the new school we transferred to at King’s Heath three years later…

The venerable old lady is still there I’m glad to say, and now plies her trade as the Bordesley Centre for Muslim education and training, owned and operated by the Muath Trust. I revisited it fifty years later last summer with a crowd of old lags - pensioners all. The building was crumbling and badly in need of attention, but still just about hanging on to her dignity, but even as I write this, the cavalry is on it’s way I think, as scaffolding is currently sheathing the Girl’s school bit - someone must have successfully uncorked the lottery stash.

Once inside, the unique smell was still there. A mixture of chalk-dust, sweat and fear. Not much had changed architecturally, the window and door furniture barely altered, the assembly hall still magnificently vaulted. Only the wall bars and the black achievement shields, with the names of sporting legends beautifully lettered in gold, had been removed; the latter, thankfully, to adorn the new dining hall at Kings Heath. Thank God I thought, because I actually featured a few times on that indelible roll of honour.

Obviously not much money had been spent on its restoration or sanitation. And I noted on one wall in the main corridor someone had written ”F**k Jesus” in silver felt pen. I did ponder on dropping Salman Rushdie a line with that gem, but what the heck…

It was granted Grade II listed building status in1983, and long may it stand and serve as a classic example of Victorian splendour in this architecturally bland and sterile world.

The school was built in 1883 and formed part of the King Edward VI Foundation, but the charter from Edward to form free-grammar schools in his name was given in 1553, so it had a fair bit of history, a tremendous reputation for academic achievement, and some interesting surviving customs.....

more guff....

 

[jmadone]

What good news......I have every respect for Waverley Grammar grubs...a couple of my school mates passed for there....and I would LOVE any pics of my hero Viv.......and just because I can.....here's a snippet from my memories of that wonderful building.......

CAMP HILL YEARS 1953 – 1956
In 1953 I miraculously passed the ‘eleven plus’ exam for the Grammar school - King Edward VI Grammar School for Boys, Camp Hill.

Excuse me? Say again? At the time we were notified of this academic epiphany, I had absolutely no idea who, what or where the hell King Edward’s Camp Hill was, let alone why I was selected. Nor cared much I have to confess, for it was at the beginning of the long, hot Summer holiday of 1953: I was eleven, and there was still lots of cricket to play and trains to spot.

Mother reputedly chose it on the eleven plus form because it sounded “nicer” than Saltley Grammar, the nearest establishment to home. Not to say that folk from Saltley Grammar were in any way inferior or anything like that, the hell no (my wife went there after all), but Saltley was synonymous with the Gasworks at the time, and Mom was perhaps leaned a little bit more towards Hyacinth Bucket than the rest of the family. Like me, Dad didn’t seem too bothered. To the point of complete indifference it has to be said. But his insouciance was at least consistent, for he never showed a rat’s ass of interest in anything I did thereafter for the whole of the seven years I was resident. I think Nan was quite proud though, she was the one who went to parents evening at Albert Road, and followed my progress, and for my sins I very quickly grew to be prouder still. In the event, I can never thank Mom enough for her foresight with this choice of school, or lady luck for my good fortune. Halleleujah.

Anyway, cometh the first day of my new term, the journey consisted of a shortish 54 bus ride to Bordesley Station, then a short trudge up the eponymous Camp Hill, and there it was - in all it’s gothic splendour. The academic cathedral of KEGS Camp Hill that shrieked one thing above all else - TRADITION. I loved it from the moment I clapped eyes on it. The fairy tale towers, the sloping playground, the bike sheds, the funny building at the bottom of the playground (later discovered to be the Fives Court), the Girl’s school next door… I loved every nook and cranny of it. Almost as much as I hated the new school we transferred to at King’s Heath three years later…

The venerable old lady is still there I’m glad to say, and now plies her trade as the Bordesley Centre for Muslim education and training, owned and operated by the Muath Trust. I revisited it fifty years later last summer with a crowd of old lags - pensioners all. The building was crumbling and badly in need of attention, but still just about hanging on to her dignity, but even as I write this, the cavalry is on it’s way I think, as scaffolding is currently sheathing the Girl’s school bit - someone must have successfully uncorked the lottery stash.

Once inside, the unique smell was still there. A mixture of chalk-dust, sweat and fear. Not much had changed architecturally, the window and door furniture barely altered, the assembly hall still magnificently vaulted. Only the wall bars and the black achievement shields, with the names of sporting legends beautifully lettered in gold, had been removed; the latter, thankfully, to adorn the new dining hall at Kings Heath. Thank God I thought, because I actually featured a few times on that indelible roll of honour.

Obviously not much money had been spent on its restoration or sanitation. And I noted on one wall in the main corridor someone had written ”F**k Jesus” in silver felt pen. I did ponder on dropping Salman Rushdie a line with that gem, but what the heck…

It was granted Grade II listed building status in1983, and long may it stand and serve as a classic example of Victorian splendour in this architecturally bland and sterile world.

The school was built in 1883 and formed part of the King Edward VI Foundation, but the charter from Edward to form free-grammar schools in his name was given in 1553, so it had a fair bit of history, a tremendous reputation for academic achievement, and some interesting surviving customs.....

more guff....

What a lovely post. I only ever went to the school in Kings Heath. I do remember the sports shields in the dining room and as a "sherring" seeing them for the first time I aspired to sporting greatness myself. Alas not to be. I played rugby, cricket and basketball for Howard house and even represented the school in a couple of fives matches against Five Ways and I think, Aston but no blues for me. Ah well!

 

[devonjim]

I noticed on Facebook that the school has an open day this coming Saturday, 13th July. Would be good to go, but a long haul from Devon, getting longer as I age!

 

[farmerdave]

Quite a distance from Surrey too but it would be interesting to look round the school again. However, have other things on this weekend.

 

[jmadone]

Same here, and a long way from County Durham.

 

[ellbrown]

The current KE VI Camp Hill Schools are on the Vicarage Road in Kings Heath. The old building still stands at Camp Hill Circus / Stratford Road, but it's the Bordesley Centre now.

Some of these views from Cartland Road.









Lodge seen from Kings Heath Park.



They have their own bus.

 

[jmadone]

The current KE VI Camp Hill Schools are on the Vicarage Road in Kings Heath. The old building still stands at Camp Hill Circus / Stratford Road, but it's the Bordesley Centre now.

Some of these views from Cartland Road.









Lodge seen from Kings Heath Park.



They have their own bus.

Certainly some changes since I was last there. I think I can see the bike sheds where a crafty fag was had now and again.

 

[don wright]

Dear

Dear Dennis,

Haven't forgotten to let you have a few of my adventures at CH. Am retired now and am bogged down with retirement hobbies which take up most of my time, translating latin [if I fancy it I'll have a go] ancient greek and hebrew [this last one because I went to Israel in 1977and married an Israeli girl [as she then was and In Brum at the registry office. I also make knives and have to entertain 7 grandchildren and remain sane hearing my wife's collection of Abba songs etc. So I've decided to do it in episodes under the forms I was in.... IM, 2L, 3X etc. including a few witch hunts like your marvellous lost bra episode. Hope to get round to the first instalment in the next few days so be warned.

 

[don wright]

OK Dennis, here goes

September 1959.

So there we were Johnny Morrow and me, Donald Wright, standing a the 18 bus stop at the top of Parsons Hill, Kings Norton to go to Cotteridge and then to get the number 11 to Vicarage Road. Johnny and me knew each other from the cubs and so at least we each had someone to go with, as mommies and daddies didn't accompany their 11 year olds to their first day at grammar school then. I was the first boy from Broadmeadow School to pass for Camp Hill and Johnny was from Bell's Lane school. Don't really remember much about the first day, though we quickly found out that last years sherrins were out to give us what they'd got. We were both put in Tudor and into IM and classroom 7, at the top of the stairs leading down to the staff room and at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the music room. Our for master was Mr V C Brown, aka Greasy VC, Holy Joe, Holy Hovis or the one which stuck most of all 'The Punk!' who was the scripture teacher and it didn't take us long to figure out that he wasn't a very likeable chap. I remember my mom getting mixed up once and calling him Mr Hovis! For history we had Mr D I Thomas whom we soon discovered we had to be wary of, and my first memory of him was when we were being introduced to rugby and he was showing us how to take a penalty kick. When he put the ball straight through the posts and we all cheered, he just lost it and shouted at us to shut up, and where did we think we were anyway, 'Villa Park!?' My next recollection of him was when he started hitting Dave Mallett for some possible slight, and when we were all asked our names in class.

After coming from junior school and arriving at camp Hill as it was then it was frightening ..... particularly since some of the older boys looked to us like men. Tom Rogers put the fear of God into me so I was really pleased one day to see when he called a boy from the fifth form out in assembly by screaming out his name 'Fogarty ....Alan I thing his first name was, and as he came to the front of the hall you could see that he just didn't care one iota. He was my hero after that. We had the head for scripture and when he was going though the Exodus story, one little chap didn't understand how when Pharaoh decided to kill all of the male children born, this would prevent the Israelite population increasing..... to which his reply was 'You idiot..... don't you know that women can't have children without men?' when of course being 11 and it being 1959, none of us knew that this was the case since it was a closely guarded secret.

So as it goes in Latin, 'Quae cum ita sint .... since this was so..... we all, as everyone else had to, learned how to swim and not sink..... to keep our mouths shut with the bully boys and to wreak our revenge however we could. Right at the beginning in maths we were introduced to the concept of the right angle by our teacher one Mr. Hurst, aka Hairy, since he had fingers like a bunch of Fyffes all covered in hair, and when he bisected his straight line he indicated the right angle by placing it on the right hand side, when a little later on he indicated the corresponding angle on the left hand side, and asked what it was I though, this is easy, I know this one, and told him it was a left angle, he thought I was taking the mick, and promptly came down the row and battered me one. So I go my revenge thereafter by splashing ink from my fountain pen up the back of his jacket as he'd gone past me continuing to check all of the other boys work. It was great and caught on and we all had great fun until some bright spark put a bit too much effort into his ink flick and it went right up his back and over his bald head and of course he felt it. Epic.

I never got on with maths, because nobody ever told me what I could do with x when I found out it was -2 and it all just seemed like pointless puzzle solving to me when those who were good at it were considered geniuses, and all the rest of us who couldn't give a toss anyway were regarded as either lazy or idiots.... and what was the point in using letters when we had numbers. French came easy to me on the other hand, though I never liked having to speak it. I remember much later on Dennis Marsden Getting angry with our Birmingham pronunciation of j'ai with our elongated dipthongs shouting at us 'it's not jaaaai, its je [e acute] .... much to our enjoyment! Dennis was also pretty frightning when we were first formers, but later on we found out that he was a pretty good bloke. Dennis was the careers master and detention was held in the careers room . We all had to stand facing the wall in silence for an hour and once when I was undergoing my sentence I was looking at a careers letter on the wall addressed to M. Dennis Mardsden, B.A. ....... and some wag had added the letters S.T.A.R.D. after the B.A...... I found it hysterical and was hard put not to laugh.

To be continued:

 

[jmadone]

Don, Welcome to the forum and I look forward with anticipation your next instalment. I was a year below you and remember you. In fact your memory of sherrins reminds me of my first day and going to lunch and being unceremoniusly grabbed and dragged into the queue by none other than yourself and a couple of others and made to act as the tables servant, as was the custom then.
Please keep the memories flowing.
Jim.

 

[devonjim]

Don, Welcome to the forum and I look forward with anticipation your next instalment. I was a year below you and remember you. In fact your memory of sherrins reminds me of my first day and going to lunch and being unceremoniusly grabbed and dragged into the queue by none other than yourself and a couple of others and made to act as the tables servant, as was the custom then.
Please keep the memories flowing.
Jim.

What happens to sherrins in this PC day and age. At the old Camp Hill we had been bundled down the steps of the woodwork room, the monkey hole. As a sixth former at Kings Heath I hadn't been aware of any ceremony for sherrins. Who decided what the new custom was to be in that September of 1956.

 

[jmadone]

What happens to sherrins in this PC day and age. At the old Camp Hill we had been bundled down the steps of the woodwork room, the monkey hole. As a sixth former at Kings Heath I hadn't been aware of any ceremony for sherrins. Who decided what the new custom was to be in that September of 1956.

As far as I can remember there was no ceremony as such but for the first few weeks the sherrins were just picked on by the bullies and made to undergo demeaning tasks, occasionally being invited to see "the blue goldfish" which involved having your head held down in the toilet and the cistern flushed on you. This seemed to be the norm for most boys in their first year at senior school whether it was a grammar or a secondary modern. No real harm done and the following year it was your turn to dish out the "punishment" for a few weeks.
Jim

 

[don wright]

As far as I can remember there was no ceremony as such but for the first few weeks the sherrins were just picked on by the bullies and made to undergo demeaning tasks, occasionally being invited to see "the blue goldfish" which involved having your head held down in the toilet and the cistern flushed on you. This seemed to be the norm for most boys in their first year at senior school whether it was a grammar or a secondary modern. No real harm done and the following year it was your turn to dish out the "punishment" for a few weeks.
Jim

I once saw someone in the bogs getting a frog forcibly thrust down his trousers.

Don.

 

[don wright]

Part 3:

He was always the ref, and in one of these games much later on when I smashed an unstoppable shot into the top left hand corner of the net sic!] he disallowed it for offside...... 'cos they were getting hammered! And they used to have a 7 a side rugby match against the first team until in one of these games one of the masters got spectacularly laid out .... by Alfie Phillips [another one of my heroes] I think. It was also EPIC and heralded the demise of this annual game..... well, actually what I mean is they chickened out! Many years later I actually played in an Old Boys against the school XV down on the first team pitch. The school team were not very good and only beat us 3-0 and I was playing hooker which is the position I placed all of my rugby in, the period when scrum halves were not allowed to put the ball in straight to their number 8. So hooking the ball was a necessary skill and in this game I was doing it considerably better than the school number 2 So he got fed up with this and in one loose scrum I suddenly felt a pain in my right arm, and when it broke up there he was biting me. Well he tried to run off but I kicked his legs from under him and was just about to stomp him and finish him off when I saw the head [Mr Cholmondely aka Fat Al] and all of the masters and the parents etc. on the touchline and thought to myself, well you'd better not do that in the circumstances. It was the only time throughout all of the years I played .... until the age of about 34 that something like that happened to me. Pure dirt! Next to him one Johhny Cleak, someone to be definitely avoided. More of him anon. Next we have Jim Ridsdale and whatever his name was [Dan?] Matthews, upon whom I cannot comment because they never taught me. And then we have my namesake Mr Des [I think it was ] whom I decided had to be avoided at all costs. Had him for Chemistry in [probably] 4b and after that thought to myself I'd have to be a glutton for punishment to do biology wouldn't I, as my late father used to say, and didn't do biology. On the extreme left on the front row we have Mr Ray Watson, affectionately known as Shifty who took us for sport in IM and for chemistry in 3x. I liked the shift because I was in the rugby team from IM to 6U and he also liked me. Rumour had it that he once played for Sunderland. Once after a rugby practice when we were all going off the pitch all covered in mud there was on lad whose only interest in life was maths and had always managed to get stuck on the wing for appearances sake and avoided having to touch the ball like the plague. So as he was running off the pitch as clean as he came on to it, the shift tripped him up into a puddle saying, 'When I take a practice nobody comes off the pitch clean..... and on a few occasions he was heard in the gym jovially threatening to stick someones's head through the wall-bars!

end of part 3

 

[jmadone]

Great memories Don but I seem to have missed part 2. Was it posted on the forum?

 

[don wright]

Part 4:

Tom Rogers was put out to pasture, en route to the glue factory! Pleased as punch I was as Fat Al, our new headmaster as he became affectionately known, was a much nicer chap, although he did throw a wobble now again, but who doesn't? Mr Cholmondely had a labrador and at one rugby match where we were all standing on the touchline watching the dog. ....another one whom I decided had to be avoided like the plague and in consequence learned Latin instead of German, and was doing what it wanted do and was paying no attention as he was calling it, so I whistled out of the window of room number 1 on the ground floor and over came the dog immediately. Well, thinking no more about this as one would, there we all were, chatting away and enjoying life when in came the aforesaid Mr. Feast, which he probably changed to Faust when he apparently and promptly went to live in Germany when he retired, came storming in doing an impression of A. Hitler giving an impassioned speech at the Nuremberg Rally, screaming and shouting, 'Who whistled the dog!?' So I thought, 'Hmmm, well.... I certainly ain't gonna admit to this one!' and since he didn't have the local to back him up he eventually left the room in high dudgeon! What a strange fellow, we all thought..... definitely in need of a little 'anger management' course. He had this really clapped out looking old VW beetle with a split back window which we always thought was the first one to come off the production line in the 30's and had had one careful previous, careful owner

And one occasion when Fat Al looped the loop, which was pretty appropriate because he was a pilot in WWII and flew missions over Arnhem inter alia and was decorated with the Air Force Cross [which I only found out last year, see obituary: https://www.thefreelibrary.com/Headmaster+of+20+years+at+Camp+Hill+School+dies.-a083971420] was when he came into room 1 [again] and there we all were writing the names of pubs we had been in all over the blackboard. Yet again, how strange, we all thought, but perhaps he'd had a bad pint in a pub once and since then all pubs were anathema!

end of part 4

 

[don wright]

part 5


Another Chums wobble was when I was in 5b and just opposite on the other side of the corridor was the form room of 5c, aka the remove, when on this occasion Martin Webb was having great fun having greased the outside door knob and was holding onto the inside one and preventing anyone getting in much to the enjoyment of his classmates and us on the other side of the corridor. Martin was turning round enjoying all of the plaudits while someone outside was struggling unsuccessfully to enter, when all suddenly went silent inside the classroom and when he turned around there was the beak with hand all greased up and pretty cheesed off to boot. So Martin was taken off and promptly caned. Just as an aside one of my classmates had to go to him to get caned and took the precaution of wearing an extra couple of pairs of trousers so as to absorb some of the force of the blows, and when he bent down, Chums apparently said, 'Looks like you're wearing an extra pair of trousers,' to which the reply was, 'Yes, it might look like that, perhaps..... whoosh!! [several times]. Back to the football programme..... then we have 'Ted' Jones, so called due to his fashionable 'Teddy-boy' hairstyle, and I have no comment to make on him as he never taught me French. Next we have Harry brown, aka Harry the Plank the woodwork teacher. Harry was an old-style craftsman and didn't take to fools easily or those who did not respect the tools and equipment in the woodwork room. I liked Harry and got on with him OK because I have a fairly decent set of hands and was not bad at woodwork. He used to laugh at me because I'm left handed.... but would always clarify matters by saying that he was laughing because I seemed to be working backwards and he couldn't see how anyone could work that way.

Last but by no means least is Mr B A Tomkinson, the metalwork teacher otherwise known as the BAT, who once gave me a lift to Cotteridge on the back of his motor bike..... an act of generosity which would probably be frowned upon nowadays. Did metalwork only in IM and have regretted it ever since. I see that I have missed out Dai Thom, about whom I have already spoken. Here's another lovely little story also when I was in IM. Johnny Morrow and I were larking about at the bus stop at the top of Cartland/Vicarage Road to go back in the Cotteridge direction and Johnny at some stage or other threw my cap into the road. Well, we had a serious gap in our anti-teacher intelligence system here because to Johnny's misfortune what we didn't know was that Mr Thomas lived in the gouse right by the bus stop, and he must have been watching, 'cos he shot out of his house and beat him around the head repeatedly. Charming.

And back to Dennis for another bit of badinage.... we were reading Moliere in 6U in preparation for our A levels and Dennis was going on about life in seventeenth century France when he suddenly said, 'In seventeenth century France... [pause.... because we were going to get some really interesting stuff here..... and of course we were because he continued by saying ].... the men conceived....' Well he didn't get any further than that due to the laughter.

end of part 5.

 

[don wright]

part 6:

Still going great guns and not out of IM yet although several anecdotes belonging to another period have already been related. Never got the cane myself, but was battered about every now and then like most of us were. Failed Eng. Lit O level mainly because I hadn't read the set books and had to rely on 'umbogo' and since I only failed with a grade 7 I took it as an achievement. Mr. 'Polly' was of course none other than our genial deputy head Mr. Polly Bates who with that nose of his and how he walked about on the stage at assembly, with both hands clasped behind his back and his black gown hanging over his arms like wings, before made his entrance, and stooping somewhat forward as he mover suspiciously back and forth surveying his prey, looked to all intents and purposes like a vulture, to me at least, but generations of other lads before me had decided on a parrot..... hence Polly..... and who was I anyway to object? Every now and then some brave wag would make squawking noises as he prowled about the stage looking for victims ..... and believe me you had to be brave to do something like that then due to the possible consequences if found out. Which reminds me of an incident which took place in assembly when I was in 6L.

Chums had just finished reading the lesson and having said in his vicar's voice suited to the occasion, 'Let us pray!' someone from the Fifth who must have been insane.... well I think he was from the Remove, so this could have been the case .... or very brave .... dropped an incredibly loud fart. Well obviously no-one could laugh but the whole of the fifth and sixth forms were all holding their mirth in as best they could and shaking as though there was an earthquake, while all of the prefects lined up along the sliding doors in the hall, in case of insurrection, were all looking around them like mad, trying to identify the culprit ...... luckily without success, otherwise there might well have been a crucifixion on the first team pitch. This one was in my opinion super, duper EPIC! And a great time was had by all of us! Then there was Sid.... aka Mr. Madge the music teacher, he was a lovely bloke and very kind and to my knowledge he never laid a finger on any of us..... so unfortunately he was fair game and got played up. But this was the system then, learn from fear of punishment and being slapped around the head or being whacked with a gym shoe or anything else which came to hand ...... and in this connection I once saw a chemistry teacher who lost it rip off the rubber pipe from the bunsen burner and start waving it around his head like a whip while we all just laughed. I'm sure most of our teachers were good blokes really, but this was the system and just as it was sink or swim for us..... so it was for them. If they couldn't control us then there was the nervous breakdown waiting in the wings!

So all that I've said about them battering us and general nastiness should be viewed in this light. Sometimes it was a bit frightening or unpleasant, but the good times and the laughs..... well I wouldn't have missed them for the world would I.... and in the words of Hughie Green..... 'And I mean that sincerely, folks!'

 

[don wright]

Part 7:

So here we go again ..... 'Memories are made of this' see:

a bit about love, but you know what I mean! [after this track up came Chuck Berry Johnny B Goode and then Little Richard Good Golly Miss Molly which reminded me of something else..... anon!] Sid was a member of the Ban the Bomb org.com and he wore the badge and we boys had a song about him, which went:

Sid, Sid, Sidney Madge,
He is the one with the atom bomb badge.
So if tyou want a laugh, Ho Ho!
Ask Sid Madge if his wife's a pro!


Not exactly Percy Bysshe Shelley, but then we were only boys weren't we. In music once in IM Sid went off playing some piano concerto or other, but unbeknown [and I notice here with glee that this word is unbeknown to my computer..... so 'computer say no!' and that's supposed to be it. Well I've got news for you, O computer, [Vocative case here] it's not!] to him we'd stuffed a couple of towels up the treble end of the 'joanna' and though he got lovely music out of the bass end, all he got when he went up the treble end was plunkel, dunkle clunk instead of notes ..... yet again EPIC. I regret never having learned how to play a musical instrument now ..... so if you're up there Sid, reading this, you were right,and I'm really sorry!

OK so end of first year and now we all had to put 'Harry Potter's Sorting hat' on and I was sorted into 2L the B stream, whereas in the year before us there was 2L [Latin] 2G, and 2R the remove and now things were changed and we now had 2A which was the top class, 2L where you could learn Latin or German if you were a masochist.... see above, and 2R remained the same. Unfortunately us lot from IM got the same form master in 2L namely Mr. V C Brown [for plethora of nicknames, see above] and when we showed our disappointment at this by our loud groans he also showed his by throwing all of his toys out of his pram..... which I personally enjoyed very much, I have to say. Mr. Hovis again I'd have preferred the bubonic plague! [ah wonderful.... see computer doesn't know what bubonic is..... as the late great Tommy Cooper would have said in this situation 'I rest my case"!..... as he came in dressed as a barrister and placed his case on the table, and then as an after thought picked it up and climbed up a step-ladder and placed it at the top and then said, 'I take my case to a higher court!'one liners rule..... as opposed to 'Villa Boot-Boys' ..... yes, I'm a Villa fan, and anything remotely concerned with BCFC is anathema to me due to my experiences at Camp Hill where most people who were interested in football were 'Blue Noses!' Believe me when you were bored to tears in double maths and spent most of it beautifully engraving and inking in 'Aston Villa ' on your desk, something Tony Appleby himself our esteemed, and yes Tony was also a great bloke, a great human being, even, would have been proud of, you could come back in a few days time. But the engraving would always be sub-standard.

And we also has one chap in our class who was a Nottinghan Forest supporter and we always knew where he'd been sitting 'cos you'd always find NF [ not the national front!] engraved there..... we all thought he was mad! Which reminds me of a show called Detectives on the TV many moons ago with Jasper Carrot where there was a scene where Jasper as a confirmed Bluenose and his detective partner and had been kidnapped and were watching the cup final where Birmingham City were playing [a caveat here..... you have to remember that this is fiction!] and the Blues supporters were singing and the police were outside with listening equipment , For what they were singing.