Pay day at the Guards Depot was a nightmare, more SDI's than you could shake a stick at, in the Coldstream Guards, we waited in line in order of your surname, being 'S' I was down the line a bit. It was a bit of a performance, when your name was called you answered "Yes Sir", doffed your head gear marched in, head gear under arm, pay-book in hand. Replaced head gear, saluted, step forward present pay book, to Paymaster, step sideways to RQSM, (no debits), side step, pay clerk, receive pay and returned pay book, step side ways , salute, step back, right turn, march off. This day I had been in the Cambridge Military Hospital for 5 days suffering with Guardsman's heel, only been in the army a short time on return ordered to pay parade, really nervous I would mess up the protocol. I watched everyone in front of me desperate to get it right, name called, dropped my pay book, 3 SDI's screaming at the same time forgot to doff head gear, hit coconut mat, shot forward nearly head butting paymaster, RSM came up "No need to kiss him lad you ain't getting that much" dropped pay book again. Then the CSM's, SDI's, RSM, dragged me out of the pay hall, all screaming, flustered I shouted "I'M Sorry I've been in hospital" whereapon the RSM screamed " Do that again lad, you'll go */#~:'^$" back"
paul