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Lahai-roi The Grange 42 Park Hill Moseley

If a girl was under 18 her parents could adopt the baby even if she wanted to keep her child. I speak from experience. Social services view was that a single mother has got nothing to offer a child and there were many couples who wanted to adopt who could offer a child a better life.
 
My partner's cousin was left by her mother in a basket in a church porch in WW2 and whilst the church received a direct hit killing the mother and everyone inside, the baby survived without a scratch. She had a happy adoption but her adoptive mother was a tyrant, whom she cared for till she died, even so she never wanted to find her birth family. I had a friend who was a founding, a very well dressed baby snuggled in a wicker basket and placed on a doorstep. She never wanted to find her birth family either. Another cousin of my partner adopted a little boy of four from a war torn country. His family were murdered, which he remembers and he remembers his mother and he went back to successfully trace what was left of his family. I found my birth mother and both sides of my birth families and their extended families as adoption played a big part in their histories also. What I am saying is, we are all different. So to Mark A W, should you find your birth family or get a word to them, you don't have to have a tearful reunion. I felt like you do to start with, a part of me still feels like that. A lot of me in fact. I was with my maternal birth uncle 2 days ago but I am fiercely loyal to my late adoptive parents. My mum and dad. Play it how you want to play it. You don't have to like them, they might not click with you, most of mine do but some don't. Just remember they may be very sensitive. Best Wishes, Nico
 
Thanks to both Kim and Nico for responding to my previous post and the kind words.
My BM was 16 when she had me and the papers I have state that she and her mum decided together that "adoption was in his best interest". How much was her choice I'll never know - it might be very similar to Kim's situation.
I've never felt rejected (have got great parents) and have no anger towards my BM (or her mother) about having me adopted but I don't know how I would feel if she wasn't interested. Suppose that's just my own defence mechanism - would I feel rejected if I found her and she didn't want to know??? I guess that's why the authorities require the adoptee to undergo counselling, despite me being almost 50.
About 20 years ago, I did contact the CofE Childrens Society who handled my adoption. They wrote back saying they had details on file, but I didn't take it further as I assumed they'd have the same papers I already have.
But, from what I've read on this page, it seems that local social services would be the best point of contact??
Through Ancestry DNA, 18 months ago I did discover who my BF was (I was only looking to where I was "geographically" from). He sadly passed away very young, but did leave 4 girls who welcomed me without question. We're now very close and I've managed see them every couple of months when Covid lockdowns have allowed.
Thanks again Nico and Kim for your replies - much appreciated.
 
Whilst I was in The Grange, and throughout my life, I have never met or known a mother who wanted to give up her child voluntarily.
I have however, met and known some women whose children may have been better off if they had! Mine included.
 
Adoption inquiry
The Joint Committee on Human Rights has launched a new inquiry to look at the experiences of unmarried women whose children were adopted between 1949 and 1976. Adults who have experience of adoption during this period can respond to a survey. There’s also a call for written evidence by 28 October 2021. You can find out more about the inquiry on the UK parliament website (https://committees.parliament.uk/co...men-19491976/?mc_cid=fe5bd99b16&mc_eid=UNIQID) .
 
Whilst I was in The Grange, and throughout my life, I have never met or known a mother who wanted to give up her child voluntarily.
I have however, met and known some women whose children may have been better off if they had! Mine included.
 
Kim Pugh said:
Whilst I was in The Grange, and throughout my life, I have never met or known a mother who wanted to give up her child voluntarily.
I have however, met and known some women whose children may have been better off if they had! Mine included.
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I’m referring to my own mother who contacted Social Services to request that they adopt my baby because I refused to have an abortion.
 
Kim , how sad and so many other sad stories.

My sister had a baby boy in 1965, and ,yes, she was possibly the talk of the road, and my parents were very disappointed in her but they never once suggested that the baby would not be welcome in their home.
He was another grandson and a lovely addition to our family.

Thank goodness times changed and expectant mothers decisions were taken into account.
 
My mom was an unmarried mother and was there after giving birth early dec 1960 - I don't know if she was there before as she gave birth at another address in Edgbaston which was a maternity hospital. I would be interested to know about her time there and if anyone remembers an yvette. Mom has dementia so im trying to gather info to make sense of things.
 
Referring to yours and Mikejee's posts where people might have 'helped out'. My BM was one of those 'helpers' as she had nowhere else to go after giving birth to me after I was given to my Adoptive Parents. Initially lodging with a fellow Birth Mother and her mother, who was a single mother, who were living on nothing, she had to put her pride in her pocket and throw herself on the mercy of Sister Helmuth, and worked for her keep till she could obtain a job and rent a room.
 
Hello Margy,
I notice you were born in the home in the 19 50s do you have any other information about the place as I was born there in 1950 the 27th Feb.

Best regards,

Barry




Jano said:
Hello, I'm a journalist at ITV Central News looking for adoptees from Mother and Bay homes in the 60's and 70's. Would you be willing to talk to me? Regards
Jane Hesketh
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margy555 said:
hi janetsim when I applied for my original birth certificate it had my mothers surname on it i got it from st catherines house in London all adoption records from birmingham were taken there in 19970. I think they may have now moved them to Q National Archives Record Office. Alton Towers is just a theme park now.
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Alberta said:
Lahai-roi, 42 Park hill,Moseley.Opposite St. Annes church.
Was this a mother and baby home in 1940s.
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Hi there can you help me I’m looking for my mums sister who was given up for adoption in the early 60s at 2 weeks old my nan was Diana Mary Reid at the time she was 17 thank you
 
There is some information about tracing adopted relatives on the GRO site, not sure how helpful it is...

www.gov.uk

Adoption records

If you were adopted you can access your birth records or get on the Adoption Contact Register to find birth relatives - how to apply, forms and information for birth relatives
www.gov.uk www.gov.uk

www.gov.uk

Adoption records

If you were adopted you can access your birth records or get on the Adoption Contact Register to find birth relatives - how to apply, forms and information for birth relatives
www.gov.uk www.gov.uk
 
margy555 said:
I was born in this home in 1950 and was adopted. I don't have any recollection of it but on finding my birth mother she said it was a terrible place and that they were made to do all the chores right up until the birth,and were not allowed any rest after the birth.
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Perhaps it was not good in 1950 but it was ok in the 1960s
 
Christine1946 said:
Perhaps it was not good in 1950 but it was ok in the 1960s
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It wasn't good in 1957/8. My birth mother told me shocking things. The young mothers, some as young as thirteen were daily treated like dirt and humiliated, forced to repeat their alleged 'sins' -plural, verbally in a group, in front of the staff, before they started work for their keep, (scrubbing and cleaning) fortunately only by the founder, a nun, Sister Helmuth who was in charge. Though well meaning in origin, she was judgemental pious and nasty with it. I have that in writing in her memoirs, as sadly were the congregation of St Anne's opposite, till the vicar, geed up by his wife, who was a friend of one of the nursing sisters, had to re-present the meaning of Christianity to his flock. They had to eat humble pie and receive the young mothers in to the congregation as is the Christian faith, and welcome them. Luckily the nurses and the cook especially, I am told was very motherly.
The birth parents' details were invented, in my case many, which initially led us on a wild goose chase.
Written testaments like, the Putitive father, (I had to look that one up). I later discovered Sister Helmuth need not have written this as she met my birth father at great length. They quarrelled. Maybe it was spite?
All of my details were mixed up even my birth mother's name was wrong, we had been looking for someone else till I received more details from the Adoption Society. Which were also wrong. They gave me someone else's details. Good job we had stated researching on our own. They did apologise, the lady, a volunteer offered to resign, (sound familiar in these times?)
So no it wasn't good then or after according my Norcap contact also born there who is younger than me.
 
Sounds horrendous. The matron when I was there was very kind and compassionate and emphasised the girls there were “good girls”. We worked hard but we would have had to do the same if we were living alone. A very sad time. I just wonder what happened to all those other girls who were there in late 1965. I cant even remember names
 
Christine1946 said:
Sounds horrendous. The matron when I was there was very kind and compassionate and emphasised the girls there were “good girls”. We worked hard but we would have had to do the same if we were living alone. A very sad time. I just wonder what happened to all those other girls who were there in late 1965. I cant even remember names
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Maybe some of them will read this. I am glad you had a better experience. That's just what you all were, girls. Children even. My birth mother remembers all of their names and of the nurses. They had a bond.
I was given the vicar and his wife's name afterwards from a mutual friend.
The home was supported by a board and the expenditure was laid out in a booklet.
My birth mother had a very low regard for the doctor who attended as he held the same for all of them. He was under the influence of Sister Helmuth. The one shining light was the Registrar who wished things could be different. There was also a kindly Middle Woman who dealt with the Adoptive Parents.
My birth mother ended up back working at the home for somewhere to eat and sleep as she found herself homeless as all her savings were taken for our keep. Although she had worked for it. She was too ashamed to go home as it had been instilled in her that she was bad. She was not given a photo of me either as was the agreement. So she hung around after getting work and a room in a house, hoping to get a glimpse of me. She became one of the young girls she had taken pity on and gave them a price of a cup of tea. She was also told that that was it. There was no going back. Which was false. She had in reality 6 months in which to change her mind. The Adoption people wrote to her for a final consent yet she was told as soon as she entered the home, that, that was it. The landlady in the house where she rented a room, opened her letter and kicked her out. She didn't want a woman of 'that sort' under her roof. I guess that was what society inflicted then. I am so glad things have improved.
 
Hi everyone. My great grandmother gave birth at 42 Park Hill Moseley in the 50's. Even though the baby's father wasn't around she kept the baby. I just wondered if anyone knows how common it was to be able to leave mother and baby homes with your child? I have visions of her running away at night with the baby. But maybe that was normal?
 
Christine1946 said:
From my knowledge if you wanted to keep your baby you could just walk away
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I was in Belle Walk M&B Home. August - November 1962 Yes you could just go and take your baby with you. IF you had somewhere to go. Lucky for me my Mom decided to take me back with the baby. Dad had left us some years before so it was not easy for her to cope with the shame that I took back with me.
I married when he was 2 years old and my life turned around.
He has grown to be a fine young man with his own business and had given us 2 grand children and 3 great grandchildren, so it was worth all the trouble that I went through and my poor Mum had to live with.
Avril.
 
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Jilly said:
I was at The Grange, Mother and Baby Home from October 1966 to February 1967. I was 16 at the time, it was a time in my life that has never gone away, and I am 71yrs old. I had a beautiful baby girl, I was an only child and my my had died when I was 11, my dad and his family would not let me keep her, even though my boyfriend stood by me. I was the longest girl in there, as they thought my family would let me keep her. The day she was took from my arms will haunt me, I was put in another room and watched her been driven away, and I was told leave the same day. Social workers would not listen that I wanted to keep her or help me. Years later I got married, but was told we could not have children and we adopted two beautiful boys, only for social services apologise about what had happened. All I say to people who know my story is, walk a mile in my shoes,
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Just wanted to say so sorry you went threw that my friend was born in that place and is now searching for her mum she was born in there 1972 god bless I hope you have found happiness now kind regards kelly
 
Hi guys
My friend Karen ann Davies was born zt 42 parkhill mosley 1972 to a Susan g Davies she was a young scared 16 year old lady zt that time .my friend was adopted and has had a wonderful life she has no animosity towards her biological mum and just hopes she's well and hopefully wishes to seek zny further siblings you can contact me threw private service via here thankyou all and happy searching
 
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Hi all,
Interesting to read that some mums were able to leave the Grange with their baby. I had always assumed that I would have been taken away from my birth mum at the home.
But, last week I finally got my original birth certificate which showed that my birth was registered by my mum herself when I was 10 days old and it looks like I was handed to a foster mother a few days after that only a mile from her home and 10 miles from the Grange.
Was it usual for the birth mother to register the birth herself if she was still at the Grange or was that done for them?
 
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