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The sayings of our teachers - Can you remember any?

Blacksmith

Blacksmith

master brummie
Do you know, that even with me being over 60 now, I still have panic dreams about not having done my homework? It just shows what a big part of our lives our short time in school proved to be.

As if to prove it, I have clear recollections of some of the things my teachers used to say, and I was wondering if other people remembered the sayings of their teachers.

I went to Yardley Grammar School and I can remember one teacher we all called 'Sam' - But not to his face! - He had three sayings that I can remember, all names he called pupils whose work or attitude annoyed him.

1. "You're a slacker." - For obvious reasons
2. "You're a chocolate packing machine." He then went on to explain that if a chocolate packing machine was made incorrectly it would make mistakes and would carry on making those same mistakes, just like we kept doing.
3. "You're a bucket." - I'm afraid I can't remember why he called us that.

OK, I own up, he is the one whose maths homework I have forgotten in my dreams.

Please share your recollections of 'things our teachers said'.
 
I remember more about my teachers sayings at junior school than senior. My favourite teacher was Mr Liggins and whenever I said "I can't" he would say "there is always a can in a can't" and I remember Mr Smith when he told Frankie Harris and Frankie Wootten off for mucking about to cut their water off. Miss Taylor would make us put our heads on our hands and relax and then afterwards she would get us to breath in deeply and SMELL THE ROSE. I can see her now. Lovely teachers. Now Miss Roberts and Miss Unit were a different kettle of fish. Jean.
 
i had the same miss taylor for music jean. she would tell us to show our hankies (which we had to be sure to bring, i never took one any other day, my sleeve would do!) then we had to blow our noses - then "smell the rose" before singing bread of heaven. some of the hankies the kids produced were pretty disgusting, but as long as you had one you were ok.

mr liggins would say "now here hath been dawning another blue day, think - wilt thou let it slip useless away?" and as you can see, i have never forgotten it and often say it to myself.
 
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Our Geography teacher met each of his new classes with the same phrase - "You play ball with me, and I'll play ball with you. But remember, it's my ball." And he meant it!

I liked most of my teachers, but he was one I just could not stand, hence I haven't mentioned his name. If a boy got a question wrong he used to grab hold of his sideboards and pull him up to a standing position. Or was that just me he did that to? Me, a persecution complex? Never.
 
Fancy that Chris. Yes if you dared to sneeze she would open all the windows even if it was freezing. I loved Mr Liggins even though a lot lived in fear of him. I have photo's Chris of some of the teachers at Yew Tree and obtained some through a group that get together every year at the school. Miss Unit was so horrible I peed myself more than once. She used to smoke in class too. YUK. Jean.
 
Mr. Mansell, our dear old Headmaster at HillTop, always used to say :''we have but one rule in this school, and that is 'DON'T'! ''

Another being: ''my purpose is to thwart your every instinct!''

Our maths teacher, Mr. Blakemore (a brilliant bloke!) used to bang his head, slowly and with surprising dignity, against the blackboard. He onced thrashed me for wearing a monacle! I was in my 'Bertie Wooster' phase...
 
Whoa, scrub that! He didn't thrash me for wearing a monacle....it was for accidentally head-butting him in the groin-area, whilst illegally running in the coridor! He was quite tall you see, and I was just a first-former...just the wrong sort of height, when running head-down; if you see what I mean?

When he caned me he said : ''This won't hurt you as much as you have hurt me!''

The monacle debacle ended peacefully....I'd forgotten. My apologies Mr. Blakemore, it won't happen again!
 
The Teachers at my school didn't have sayings, they where just a load of sadistic bar----ds. You were dragged to the front of the class and caned, anything from 1 to 6 strokes according to the severity of your crime. That's all they seemed to do all day. No wonder I didn't get edumacated.
 
'Granny' Goodall used to say, 'Thank you, I'll use that to support my plants,' as she broke in half a ruler that someone had been tapping on the table.
 
Frothblower said:
The Teachers at my school didn't have sayings, they where just a load of sadistic bar----ds. You were dragged to the front of the class and caned, anything from 1 to 6 strokes according to the severity of your crime. That's all they seemed to do all day. No wonder I didn't get edumacated.
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Sounds like a school not a million miles from the East Birmingham Hospital...........
 
The only one i can remember is "Carr hold your hand out" When i was at school and i suspect many of the inner city guys and girls felt they were let down by the standard of teaching we got. I went to an R.C. school which for me was a waste of time i learnt more going to night school to get my electrical qualifications than i ever did at school i was not a thicky in fact both my children went on to University and collected Maths Degrees i always felt that i under achieved and blamed my schooling for that but i suppose it was the times we lived in.Dek
 
I went to Saltley Grammar - one of the science teachers used to rattle out the phrase ' you have the intellect of a peanut ' rather a lot. He was also a mean shot with a stick of chalk and occasionally the blackboard eraser .
 
I wonder if teachers ever talk about particular ex pupils in their retirement?

I went to Silvermere secondary school in Sheldon and i well remember a male teacher who used to have a couple of sayings, his favourite was 'i'm looking for a head'
and the other 'prepare to engage your cereberum'.

He must have made a real impression on me since i can't remember his name or the subject he taught...
 
I agree totally with Frothblower and Fatfingers. Most were hard men who had fought a war, ended up in teaching by default and were bitter about being trapped in a job they hated so they could claim an early pension. I must say the women showed more interest.

My presence was abrasive to most teachers, as it was to most people, I must have been a right little ****.

" Arkrite ! I would just as soon take you outside and cane you than speak to you here ". Talk about shooting the messenger.

" Arkrite you are bone idle. You do just enough to get bye and will never amount to anything ". Astute was that one.

" I have a messy job and want one volunteer....Don't bother sitting down Arkrite " its whats called a varied education.

" Arkrite ,run off and join a circus and take your trained spiders with you. That last essay was indecipherable " handwriting was not a strong point.

" During the War", show interest and this diversion could last all through the period.

" I knew Lawrence of Arabia " did the headmaster learn to drink whisky with him ?

I would think most of these chaps are now gone unless some are bidding for a telegram from the Queen. They were responsible for me hating school and regretting the holes on my education. Thank god for spell checkers.
 
Miss Marjorie Smith my headmistress at Cockshut Hill would always quote "empty vessels make the most sound " to any of us who tended to chatter too much.
 
Oh dear, so many who did not enjoy their school-days. On the whole, my teachers were fair but firm; most were genuinely interested in helping the kids to get the most from their education; and a few were simply superb. I can recall only a very few who were disinterested 'jobs-worths' or bullies. Most were indeed ex-Services, but none the worse for that. I found the rather militaristic discipline to have been a good thing; it certainly suited us boys. I wasn't caned regularly, but I usually got a few strokes of the cane at least once a term. In all except one particular occasion, I deserved what I got!

Jobs were so plentiful in the fifties and sixties that there was little need for anyone to be stuck in a job that they hated. Certainly a teachers' pension, at that time, wasn't worth sacrificing one's sanity for. Just for the record, mine was a bog-standard Secondary Modern, in a run-down industrial area of the Black Country. I guess I was just lucky.
 
JohnO said:
Oh dear, so many who did not enjoy their school-days. On the whole, my teachers were fair but firm; most were genuinely interested in helping the kids to get the most from their education; and a few were simply superb. I can recall only a very few who were disinterested 'jobs-worths' or bullies. Most were indeed ex-Services, but none the worse for that. I found the rather militaristic discipline to have been a good thing; it certainly suited us boys. I wasn't caned regularly, but I usually got a few strokes of the cane at least once a term. In all except one particular occasion, I deserved what I got!

Jobs were so plentiful in the fifties and sixties that there was little need for anyone to be stuck in a job that they hated. Certainly a teachers' pension, at that time, wasn't worth sacrificing one's sanity for. Just for the record, mine was a bog-standard Secondary Modern, in a run-down industrial area of the Black Country. I guess I was just lucky.
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Slightly off topic I know but;

Done quite a lot of work in schools over the years, discipline now is a joke. Teachers seem to be mostly people who leave school, go to college or university, then go back to school. Never had a job let alone been in the forces, and then get more or less bullied by the kids.

Parents are more miltant than ours were aas well. Our parents were used to being pushed around by authority figures. If i had gone home ant told my parents I'd been caned I'd have got a metaphorical slap round the head. These days parents take the teachers to task over just about any punishment.

I hated school, and all the big welsh rugby type bullyboy teachers, so left as soon as I could, at 15

By far the best teachers I had,not just because I liked them as people, but cause they actually seemed to care, were Mr Turner at Tilton Rd, and
Mr Dane at one of the secondary schools I went to. I wont name the school/s to protect the guilty lol

Hope theyre both still around and enjoying their retirement. but as Im nearly 60 its a bit unlikely eh !
 
My wife works as a lunchtime supervisor at a brand new (well,rebuilt) state of the art school, sorry, it's now called a sports college? She says that the standard of behaviour in the dining rooms is disgusting. they deliberately throw food everywhere and if the teachers try to say anything they are told to @*%4 off. It just seems that they are out of control and the teachers can't or won't do anything. I'm afraid it's the inmates running the prisons these days. And the sad thing is, what will the next generation be like? I do despair for the future.

Terry
 
Although I really enjoyed school, I sort of went off teachers, once when I was 6 and they told me santa didn't exist and again at 14 when they said my maths was lousy. I left school and worked as a book keeper !!
 
I was in my last class at Ilmington Road, Weoley Castle, we had a teacher called "Glory Be", he would for ever be saying, Glory Be Boy!
 
Most of my schoolmates education really took off after leaving school. How can you explain a " D " stream kid , thick as a brick to teachers, becoming an RAF Engineering Officer and University Lecturer on Aviation Engineering. That bloke could talk to jet engines. But others also went on to higher things thanks to adult education and interested employers..

I was a pupil at FIVE secondary modern schools . Only one , Bishops Castle in Salop did I rate exceptional. The rest were hardly inspiring, willing to turn out fodder for local industry.Many girls left through pregnancy. Some of theses later got degrees as adult students. The material was there but not taken advantage of. After all what were Grammar Schools for? I enjoyed my time at Technical College retaking subjects from the Sec. Modern.

Last words from my form master when the class broke up for the final time " Just try to get yourselves a job with a decent wage packet. I say this because if we meet again you are buying the drinks". ( Or words to that effect ) Four years later I arrested him for Drink / Driving .
 
In my Primary school i think there were maybe 5 teachers who were pleasant and fair minded,the rest about 8 of them were unpleasant nasty people, why they decided to work with children is beyond me.Teachers like them hold some responsibility for the way children behave in school now,because people who were taught and i use the term loosely,by these unpleasant few decided they would not allow people to treat their children so badly.and unfortunately that train of thought has gone to extremes,and we are left with no discipline at all. In my senior school all the teachers were great fair minded dedicated to their work,with the exception of one the needlework teacher.Mr Green who was deputy and went on to become head was inspirational to everybody,he later went on to become a councillor....And i forgot the point then, Mr Green used to say practice makes perfect
 
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Yes Blacksmith, I too went to YGS and recall the scary SAM with his menacing limp and the way he never quite looked directly at you but always focused on a point which seemed to be THROUGH you.

Not exactly a catchphrase, but I do recall a certain science teacher, known as Pinhead, who left me with a lasting memory to differentiate between stactites and stalagmites - he told us "the tights always come down". He'd probably we hung, drawn and quartered for such innuendo today!
 
I also remember Miss Taylor saying "coughs and sneezes spread diseases". She would then throw open all the windows. Jean.
 
Just after the war started a lot of the younger teachers joined the forces, mainly the RAF, and some older ones were fetched out of retirement to bridge the gap, we had
one at Yardley Wood Senior Boys called Will Scarlett. He used to keep twelve canes in his cupboard, all named after the tribes of Israel and he knew how to wack
you, at least he installed some discipline, sadly lacking nowadays both at home and school. Later on in the army we had a year, 1951 in Libya when there was little or no
conflict which enabled me thru the Army Education Service to get my 3rdClass Certicate and the first part of the 2rd, and then trouble in Egypt and we were flown to
Tel el Kebir at 24 hours notice. Oh! Happy Days. We are all graduates of the university of life, Bernard.
Quote; Does reincarnation mean you come back as a tin of milk?
 
Never a truer word Bernard,not sure about the tin of milk
 
innquest said:
Yes Blacksmith, I too went to YGS and recall the scary SAM with his menacing limp and the way he never quite looked directly at you but always focused on a point which seemed to be THROUGH you.

Not exactly a catchphrase, but I do recall a certain science teacher, known as Pinhead, who left me with a lasting memory to differentiate between stactites and stalagmites - he told us "the tights always come down". He'd probably we hung, drawn and quartered for such innuendo today!
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I'd completely forgotten about Pinhead, and yes, I too remember that comment about tights coming down. We must have been at YGS about the same time.

I also remember another occasion following a school disco. During the disco some girls had been sitting on boys' laps and the next school day the girls' headmistress called an assembly, just for the girls. Now, of course, us boys were curious to know what the assembly was all about especially when the girls came out in fits of laughter. Now, as I was a boy and therefore not in the assembly, I'm not sure how true the following is.

Apparently the girls were told how wrong it was to sit on the boys' laps, because boys and men weren't to be trusted. The headmistress is alleged to have also told them that she always used to carry a newspaper with her whenever she went on a bus in case a man had been sitting on the seat.

Of course, at the time, we believed every word the girs told us about what was said, but now I doubt whether it was true, but it was very humorous at the time.
 
Blacksmith said:
I'd completely forgotten about Pinhead, and yes, I too remember that comment about tights coming down. We must have been at YGS about the same time.

I also remember another occasion following a school disco. During the disco some girls had been sitting on boys' laps and the next school day the girls' headmistress called an assembly, just for the girls. Now, of course, us boys were curious to know what the assembly was all about especially when the girls came out in fits of laughter. Now, as I was a boy and therefore not in the assembly, I'm not sure how true the following is.

Apparently the girls were told how wrong it was to sit on the boys' laps, because boys and men weren't to be trusted. The headmistress is alleged to have also told them that she always used to carry a newspaper with her whenever she went on a bus in case a man had been sitting on the seat.

Of course, at the time, we believed every word the girs told us about what was said, but now I doubt whether it was true, but it was very humorous at the time.
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lol ........ not heard that one! Although I knew from a very early age that pregnancy was caused by sitting on warm bus seats - hence have not been on a bus for many years!

Sounds like another case for summary dismissal to me - I'm guessing this wondrous speech must have come from the headmistress known as Hattie?
 
I went to a black country school, our junior school teacher had a poem he used to regularly recite it went:
Tipton born, Tipton bred
Strong in the arm
and weak in the yed!!
 
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