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Invaders!

Oisin

Oisin

gone but not forgotten
Right, here we go again:


INVADERS! (Another load of old drivel from the pens of the Webring Mob):

Freddie was on his way to meet Dora outside the Odeon in New Street. He was crossing St. Philips Churchyard when the summer evening sky suddenly greyed over. Grey deepened to black and his ears began ringing to a screaching tone.

Ah, he thought to himself, that'll be the flocks of starlings coming to town to roost for the night.

This assumption was immediately flawed when...
 
not an orangatan in sight as yet...............

...............Three Sikorsky helicopters appeared overhead...........loud speakers telling the people below to run for cover.....it was not a nuclear, chemical or terrorist attack.......it was worse..............the words that bellowed out of the loud speakers above them made them fear for their lives.................but the instructions were clear...........they said...............
 
... run like hell for the canal. It's your only hope. If you do not submerge yourself in water by...
 
... be gathered to make a replacement for the Forward Statue that got zapped in Centenary Square. The plan is to make something that resembles...
 
A near perfect replica of a certain BRA member?

Overhead the whistle of a jet engine betrayed the......
 
uRANG m,LUD

,,,,, lonely whine of a slim handsome Male Orangutan being driven back caged to the Zoo from capture that morning in Nechells area, its lonesome pining was pitiful & reminded me of a certain fellow Webring colleague with similar flaming orangey ginger colouring who,,,,,
 
dum, de dum..

was so good looking that the female Driver (an ex-nurse) decided to set the magnificent beast free..but where could I free him where he will find happiness she thought..? I know...Cambridge..there are lots of available females down there...
 
......he had that same unforgetable physique................yes he wasn't nicknamed old man of the jungle for nothing.....................but right this minute, he was needed...........not particularly known for his heroic nature.. the lengh of his arms certainly surpassed those expected of his size.....YES! he was of heroic proportion indeed!..........so why couldnt they reach inside his pocket to locate his wallett? This was the question on everyones lips..............until...............
 
... the skies grew even darker and the buzzing of the helicopters louder. There was no return to to Nechells, Cambridge, Aston, Handsworth, Perry Barr, Tokyo, Smethwick or Dudley. This was it. This was what the world had been dreading for the last 2000 years. This was...
 
This....

This was John Young after 2000 years digging into his pocket to buy a round
 
..but all he found was fluff so JY the orangutan reached out his long, long hairy arms to the ex-nurse and proceeded to.........
 
give her a great smacking kiss, whereupon the ex nurse turned to wipe her face just as................
 
.......gently unzip her one piece boiler suit then began to pick the fluff from her belly button but this tickled the Nurse so she began laughing :lol: in a strange cacaphony of noises,, On hearing this racket above the noise of the Alpha 1 Helicopter the commander thinking the beautiful young lady was screaming in distress sent his Swat team to abseil down.....
 
... the Post Office tower where, on the way down they intercepted a call from Dav...
 
....e Brick, who was phoning the helpdesk of the 'how to be popular with wimmin' society................It was during this call, that the ropes got entangled and he was suspended in mid air..........he raised the SOS on his radio..............and was promptly sent a..............
 
ladder......... Attached to it was a flag saying 'Do not climb if you are afraid of theTrapeze. BRA women practicing' ........ so Dave closed his eyes and.........
 
JOINED BRA................

Following the necessary surgery....which was performed by the BRA members themsleves (no pun intended), Dave decided on a little pink shiffon shift dress.......as it matched the whites of his eyes...........Les was reluctant to let go of this little number, as it held deep and dear memories, but he relented and gave him the matching handbag too..........but suddenly without warning.............
 
....... through the open window came the roar of those helicopters......... They had dropped off JY still sorting out the fluff in his pocket. He saw the apparition in pink............. coughed and said.........
 
:cry: ...........'are you two timing me Dave?................Ive been hurt before and I'm not putting up with it'....................with that, Paul appeared, to confirm JY's suspicions.............they held hands and departed in the direction of the Back to Backs..................Les bought JY a bag of crisps to console him..............JY fainted at the sight of Les's wallett...............Jackies Paramedic came to the resucue and Pom arrived with her sword.......but it was too late.....it was all over....................well thats what was thought................

THE END?
 
... in a small canvas erection by the fountain in Chamberlain Square, a certain webmaster was frying up bacon with, eggs and...
 
.......black pudding which he served to her in bed in their superb ten bedroom tent next door to his canvas erection when all of a sudden a police officer appeared and said............
 
"...'ello...'ello... 'ello! And who put this Roddy tent 'ere then? If it's not packed up quick and taken back to Tamworth I shall have to slap a campin' ticket on it."
The opening was gingerly pulled aside to reveal it wasn't who he thought in the tent but a close neighbour... [clue in the line above]....
 
....who had obviously been in the sun too long 'cos they had freckles to go with the nuggett hair. The officer gasped in surprise at such goings on in our second city and decided to take further official action by.......
 
.....a Victorian lamppost holding a lovely flowering basket. The officer then arrested and charged them both with "loitering with in tent" and " section 5 of the public order act" . Both persons are due to appear..........
 
.....Jerry Springer, the pair have also been invited to bring relatives and "friends" to liven up the show. Before the show Jerry asked them if they had both ever..................
 
... had EPS experiences or been diagonosed as mentally ill. Because they answered in the negative they were immediately banned forom appearing, their places being taken by...
 
.....a woman who has a career in health care and a chap with funnily enough the same name as the host. The whole programme resulted in a near riot when ..............
 
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