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Invaders!

... the two rejects refused to be ejected and set about Mr Springfellow, leaving him to the mercies of the Lord's Day Observance Society, three recently ejected celebrities from Love Island, two from Big Brother and Kandor. Amidst the melee, Jordon was seen entering the set carrying two enormous...
 
......ostriches which she had rescued from the market stall in the Bull Ring selling the aforementioned birds in burgers. Kandor sidled up to Jordan and was seen to surreptitiously grab....................
 
... her enormous b........ottle of mineral water. "A-ah!" he exlaimed loudly. "Thank you, my beauty, this appears to be my day. This stuff may be none alcoholic but it's better than Kaliber and cheaper than having a drink with...
 
...that crew from the back-to-backs, drunken lot they are especially when they attempted to abscond with ..................
 
....Jordan. She screamed for BRA who were busy swinging from the high wire, but instead they sent...............
 
A DSS official to find out why so many people had so much free time in an afternoon to surf the net and write stories with no meanings..........but he too was distracted by Jordans huge......................b......................ubbliness, and enquired as to her...........
 
...whereabouts the next evening around 10pm . He wanted her to fill out a Form 36FF which pertained to...................
 
her IQ.............she asked Andre for his help to complete the form....but he declined on the grounds that he was busy reading the beano.............Jerry came to the rescue, and gave her a helping hand, infact there was a queue and Jerry being the strongest most galliant of men won her affliction........much to the disgust of.............
 
FF36

,,, her Full Frontal lobotomy scarring leaving her with an I Q of 36 which by some strange coincidence was exactly the same as the Man of her dreams,,desperate Dave who was just ripping of the tattered remains of his cute pink chiffon number as he toppled over into,,,,
 
.....the giant bowl of custard which was there because Jerry and Jordan used it to...................
 
camoflage a passing orandutan wearing a yellow boilersuit..........that was really Les, going to a fancy dress party as a banana, until he was spotted by..............
 
....the same police officer who had spotted the canvas erection in Chamberlain Square and clamped a Merc and someone's ears to a Victorian lamp post. The officer thinking he was going completely mad when he saw the chimp dressed as a banana decided to................
 
............... bannana split. The police officer cuffed him, and dragged him along to the clamped lamp post with someones ear attached, this gets dafter . 'Stay there you monkey and don't you dare move, I've got to go and sort out that lot from the back to backs. They've been up to no good, a Merc's gone missing and what I want to know is...............
 
.....will they let this lot into Aston Hall in August? If they do then I'm a monkeys uncle and will retire from the force due to .................
 
an overdose of salt and vinigar crisps

After a thorough search of the merc........the officer found the remains of a 1960's wallett, barely recognisable as such due to the destruction of the cloth by moths..........but he also spied something more revealing..........
 
....the lack of back up. I can't run this lot in all on my own, they shouldn't be allowed to get away with............
 
What the wallet contained was - among other things - the ID card of Elvis Presley and instructions how to ...
 
Peel an orange, in your pocket while wearing boxing gloves.

He decided to keep hold of the I.D. card of Presley and sell it on Ebay, he looked around to make sure no-one had spied him and slid the picture deep into his...............
 
.......boxing gloves. Then disaster struck, the chimp swung itself to the top of the lamp post, his captor who was left dangling in mid air shouted.......
 
.....'my crisps, my crisps.....my kingdom for my crisps'.............but it was all in vain, as his pleas fell on deaf ears, because everyone was attending...........
 
....... the grand meeitng in Aston Park. Some sympathetic soul chucked him a bag of crisps, and as he savoured them...........
 
:D and spat them out all over the 'Odd' assourtment of people at this meeting taking place in Aston Park. 'coz like a few of the members he hated being ignored and would do anything to gain attention such as....


Chris :D
 
...stand on his head and blow bubbles. There was a yell from the mob in Aston Park - Look here mate............
 
:D ...did you learn that trick from one of our many friends from downunder, New Zealand or OZ may be :?: Or is there another reason for standing on your head spitting crisps and bubbly in a public place :?: ...
 
The mob pushed forward, he began to feel threatened. His mind raced , frantically searching for some sort of exit, he didnt want to loose his credibility, and then from the back of the mob, a voice rang out and said.......
 
:D ...Elvis has left the Park :!: . The Merc' and Elvis went that way with an orangutan and a bloke wearing glasses who also had two great big dogs with him yelling ...
 
..............'Bring back my pink dress by midnight or you will turn into a..................'
 
"Lay By"........

Elvis pulled up the pink dress so he wouldn't trip and began to run towards the...........
 
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