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Were you ever bullied at work?.

When I first went to work, there used to be what they called 'Sergeant's' at the gate's. I alway's assumed they were retired military men. They could be very intimidating to young office girl's, asking for a cuddle and pulling you on to their lap's. Not all of them were this way, but I experienced some of this. As you say Brenda, being young and naive didn't help. Other than that I don't remember any bullying until I went back to office work in the 1980's and 90's, then I saw a real change of attitude in the workplace, and was often found myself coming home in tear's because of bullying.
 
It's easy for me to say,but, I never allowed myself to be bullied,however, it must have been very difficult for girls.If you work on the assumtion that all bullies are cowards,standing up to them is simpler.Treating a bully,as they did Flashman in "Tom Browns Schooldays" is, in my opinion the best way,but not politically correct.
 
Jean,
I have never been bullied anywhere bab,wouldn't stand for it.
Further to my unpolitical correctness method,I would never allow anyone else to be bullied in my presence either,especially girls or women,cannot abide these abusers.
 
Ray, it is possible to be bullied and not realise it. I was bullied by a very unpleasant lady of my own age some years ago. She did things and said things that were odd and uncomfortable, but it was many years later I realised it was bullying. She was unmarried, and when I did report her to personnnel, I was told, that because I was slimmer and better looking, had a husband and children, this other person found it intolerable because she was jealous. It went on for some time, off and on and one day when she was particularly obnoxious in front of others, one of the men I worked with (bless him) went to personnel, unbeknown to me and he reported everything he had seen. Once I had left the job anyway, she was removed from her position in the department and had to work elsewhere within the company. I don't think she was pleased as it may have seemed like a demotion, but it was a case of God paying his debts without money - something I always have believed in. I don't hold any bitterness towards this lady, in fact I have been open to suggestions that we (a group of us) meet up, but that never materialised. It takes all sorts I suppose, but it was very painful at the time.
 
Shortie,
Thinking about it you are probably right,a teacher we had at school was extremely sarcastic,I suppose being a thicko,it would have gone over my head.However,we had one 14 yearold lad who commited suicide,and at the time the whispers were that this awful teacher was responsible.

Just last week,my 11 year old grandson was being bullied by a 16 year old,so another grandson,( his cousin) blacked the bully's eye...I would bet, he has learned a lesson.
 
I was once bullied by an office manager who sat at his desk and watched over us all day. I soon told him where to stick his type writer!!!!!! and it wasn't where the monkey puts his nuts. Jean.
 
G G Jean said:
I was once bullied by an office manager who sat at his desk and watched over us all day. I soon told him where to stick his type writer!!!!!! and it wasn't where the monkey puts his nuts. Jean.
Click to expand...

Where "the sun doesn't shine" springs to mind...
 
When I left school and went in to my first office job, we had a man rule over us with a rod of iron. Thinking about it now, I suppose this was a form of bullying, as we were all very scared of him.
 
Yes Maggs I know how you felt. I fortunately had a job lined up and was able to tell him. Funny I can't even remember his name but can see his face still. I was so shy in those days and the other girls couldn't believe their eyes and ears and NO I did not swear. Did I feel good. Jean.. PS Ray I forgot about the sun bit!!!!!. Jean.
 
Yes, Ray, sarcasm is a form of bullying, and a very cruel one too. The lowest form of wit, as well. I once worked somewhere where both the manager and his deputy had a rod of iron and were sarcastic, too, but the deputy had his comuppance. One day, this very fat man with long greasy hair (and one who also rarely washed judging by his odour) was stood with his back to the wall ordering other people about, and lifting his arms up, his trousers fell down to his ankles. The office staff fell about laughing, but sadly I was not there to see it. As I have said before, God pays his debs without money!

As for your grandson's problem, I think that this ought to happen more often. My son in law who is an ex junior boxing champion and a personal trainer, has taught my grandson (aged 9) to stick up for himself. He is a slight but strong boy, who could probably hold his own if anyone started on him. Self-defence is probably the best way to go for all kids, girls or boys.
 
Shortie,
It is probably about your upbringing,do you want to be a fighter or a victim.Right or wrong,it's clear what I think,I taught my children don't allow anyone to intimidate you.
 
I agree Ray, but when you are new in a company and someone has been there since the year dot, you just, up to a point, accept it. It did not happen daily, she was very clever (probably still is). She would be very nice and friendly one minute, or for perhaps a week or two, then it was very sly, quiet and unpleasant. It too me a long time to realise it was not me, it was her. Our jobs were not intertwined, there was little reason for me to have loads to do with her, but she was in the same, large, office. I am a fairly tough person, but when things like that catch me unawares, it is hard not to be intimidated. I feel sorry for this lady (although lady is not a word that suits), she is probably friendless, apart from her family, but enough is enough and if she offered me friendship now, I would not accept. As for my upbringing, difficult to explain, but I was taught little, once I could walk I was virtually on my own. I did not grow up strong, but I developed it, albeit slowly.
 
The only problem with bringing your children up to look after themselves is that it is they who get into trouble for doing that - my 12 year old was bullied by another child at junior school, but then began playing rugby and grounded the bully with a tackle, during playtime. Despite the fact that my son had the bruise on his face to prove the bullying, the other child was not penalised at all, where we were called into school and our son had to forego his breaks!! It did do the trick though, he wasn't bullied again!
Sue
 
On the last day of his life my Dad said to me 'My wench if you're ever unhappy in your job, move on', and I agree. I've experience loads, sexual harrassment, bullying bosses and spiteful co-workers but I told the pervs where to go, won an industrial tribunal against my bosses, sorted the bullies and now am always ready to defend the underdog. It's true that these people have no self esteem and try to destroy other people. I wonder if it ever occurs to them when they get older? Mind you, you never hear anyone say 'I was or am a bully' do you? Anne
 
In 1957 we got a house in Burton on Trent thru the Overspill and working as a Postman I was able
to get a transfer to Burton Sorting Office.Talk about a culture shock.The people in Burton were the
most parochial you could ever meet. They hated Brummies and made my life an absolute misery.
After a few years I was able to get myself elected as a Union rep, and things did get a little better.
In 1973 I moved again, to Derby S.O. which was more like Brum. It seems, like many places, big is
beautiful in Royal Mail
 
I think many places were parochial years ago - possibly a lot more than today. Two of my aunts moved from Birmingham to Cheltenham in 1949 and were treated like outcasts for at least ten years (although one claimed it was nearer to 20). We moved from Birmingham to Tamworth in March 1972, and a similar situation existed here, although they were not altogether very upfront about it - used to say things behind people's backs more than to their faces. We were known as '021's'. I personally did not meet any difficult people, but over the years I did hear of some folk being treated with distain. I used to walk from home into Glascote village for my vegetables, to a smashing local shop, Cuffe's, - old Tamworth folk who were always smiling and ready with a joke. I soon felt very much at home here, although I always consider Birmingham as the place I hail from.
 
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