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Were you ever bullied at work?.

I remember one job when I was temping I worked in an office with about six other girls and THE BOSS. He was a tyrent and would just sit there and if you dared talk he would be on you like a ton of bricks. I left after about three weeks. Wonder what he was like at home?. Jean.
 
Probably a pussycat at home Jean. Or even a brow beaten husband, who took it out on you.

I wasn't bullied at work, but I was for a long time bullied on the way to school. Probably because I had to wear a uniform.

Ann
 
Another instance was when I worked for a comptometer company in the service dept office I could not go into the bosses office without him coming out with some sexual inuendo's in front of all the fellas. At the age of sixteen I felt that to be quite daunting. Mind you they felt sorry for me and did they give him some stick. He was only about five feet in stature and probably had an inferiorority complex. Give him to me today and my goodness he'd wished he'd never met me. [I am a placid person by nature] Jean.
 
Jean,

I was bullied every day at work ... by my boss !!! (nasty piece of work )
I eventually took out a "grievance " against him..... (then loads of his victims came forward) .. he was sacked .. waheyyyyyyy
 
Part of being an apprentice was being intimidated and bullied to some degree during your first year. I remember vividly being held down by older apprentices while I had boot black rubbed into my unmentionables.... This was a common practice in those days?

On returning home whinging to my dear sympathetic mom, my father over heard the story and laughted saying 'It's all part of growing-up son - accept it like a man - I had to'.....

Thank God this practice is no longer accepted as an acceptable ritual.....
 
I was bullied at work a long time ago by the woman who oversaw the office. She was a verbal bully and very subtle with it. She always made sure I was given the worst jobs. Whatever I did she always picked my work to pieces and made me do it again. Its not easy to stand up to someone when they are in charge and I was at a low time in my life having lost a very dear Aunt. Instead of any sort of sympathy she seemed to thrive on my sadness.She was a real nasty piece of works and eventually I left. I look back now and see her for what she was a very bitter person who bullied to make herself feel better, but at the time it was a very painful experience. Even though it has been over 30 years ago I still think about it occasionaly and wish I had had the courage to stand up to her. Throughout 50 years of working this is the only time I felt bullied and it is a very soul destroying experience. I would say to anyone going through this do seek help. Anyway I've rambled on enough

Rustie
 
Nice one Di. Keith I know that dad's would say to their sons it's all part of growing up which of course it was but what about us young ladies I bet if I had told my dad he would have been over there like a rocket but by then I had made my mind up that office work was not for me. I did get the third degree that I had stayed on at school when I could have been out earning then I did what I always wanted and got a job with horses. Didn't get bullied there as I held the reigns as they say. Sorry the pun. Jean.
 
Jean - similar to your dad. Had it of been either of my sisters, my dad would have sorted out the culpits....... Would that now be classified as sexism or discrimination??????
 
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I learned a very valuable lesson at my first job I was an electricians mate and worked with a verbal bully one time we were working at The sacred Heart college in Droitwich and this idiot was getting on my nerves so much so I was going to go Home and he tried to stop me ...I was a fair sized lad then so I smacked him things changed after that I never got bullied again LOL
 
Problem with bullies though Is that they seek you out and start all over again UNLESS you have the courage to stand up to them - then they become cowards
 
Dianne do you know I think most bullies are insecure deep down for some reason or another and are jealous of the person they choose to bully. Jean.
 
I think a lot depends on the age you were bullied as to whether you will put up with it - At school I was called 'liitle titch/shrimp' Not too flaterring -

However, my first job at the at the GWR I was called 'black legs' I quit - These people had avoided WW11 - Dad was serving overseas at the time - can you blame me. .
 
One boss I had at Lucas could be a bully. One day he was having a go at me and I stood my ground. All of a sudden he stopped talking and turned around in his seat. A colleague told me later that he was watching us and that as I was responding the colour was slowly moving up my neck. The boss stopped, he said, when the reddening reached my ears. Never had any trouble after that.
 
What a forum! At last I can get rid of the bomb inside of me which have been bubbling for years!

What I have been through as the result being bullied at work, is a very long and sad story, but this is the VERY basics:-

I started at a company in 1980 - can't mention the name as I have been gagged with a court order by the company - where I was praised for my work. In 1993 a new boss came along and wanted his PA to join him, so he tried to work me out in order to get his PA in my place.

He bullied me on a daily basis, instructing me to work up to 12 hours a day, refused that I take lunch breaks - tearing up my overtime forms so I never got a cent for it, even refused that I go to the loo during the long hours I had to work!

No amount of reporting him helped, as he assured the Top Brass that "everything have been resolved".

He harrassed me, threatened me and tried everything unlawfull to get me to go. I then cought him - yes: THE BOSS (Director)- stealing equipment from the company and selling the stuff to the managers! He was very aware of the fact that he was cought out and started intensifying his cheap sexual harassment as he knew this was against my very grain of belief!

My "reporting" him was not seen in a serious light and I was told that the company would rather fire the PA before they fired one of the Directors!!!!

I was suspended on the 15th August 1998 - told to go immediately without any hearing ever taking place - to this day!

This has left me devastated, angry and extremely sad - derailed my whole life and I have never had the courage to work again!!

Wow, I actually feel better now!!!!!!

Emmie
 
What experiences you all had and are glad you got it out of your systems at last. Verbal bullying can be worse than physical as the scars last forever sometimes. When I was at one riding stable as groom [won't mention the name] other than it was out of Birmingham. On the south side and no longer exists. One of my jobs was to take care of and exercise the livery horses. One of the owners was obnoxious and she used to call me girl and give her orders out without a please or thank you. Well one day I came back early from my hack due to the horse going lame and found both her and my boss [well you know what I mean] in my office at the back of the tack room. Both were married and my was she nice to me after what I had seen. I didn't make out I hadn't seen anything but another good thing after that was my boss stopped pestering me [sexually]. I felt sorry for his wife and daughter as I found out later he was a bit of a boyo [putting it politely] Jean. Oh that feels better now.
 
I have been reading this thread and find it saddening and can only respond with stating that non of the reports are uncommon. They happen. Human contact in the workplace is mostly a tenuous affair I think and mostly only acceptable of nature. There is competition for position and pressures to perform against deadlines and just plain mean streetwise people with a personal agenda. Upper management mostly insulate themselves from the everyday happenings in the workplace; at least that was common in my experience, so that lower down personal agendas go mostly unnoticed even if they could be.
Friction in the workplace can and will upset ones whole existance and it is not uncommon to have affected ones life for many many years I suspect resulting in the above person not working again...a loss all round. It is time to move on if possible when it gets to you. It is not your fault so why keep on submitting youself to punishment. Look around and find something different. Do it early so that you do not have to jump at the first offer...this is key. Keep your ear to the ground. Even if you only find a job that is no advancament...at least it will be different circumstances. I think that it is wrong to identify oneself with ones job...rather identify yourself with the quality of your skill. There will be far more reward in that. There is a move in Canada to make pension benefits portable so that this is not a problem when changing positions in a lifetime...probably more a feature of employment now. If there is any after the mess that we are in.
The preaching is over...I thought it might help...I have been through the same thing several times in my past carreer. I am scarred and gnarly and sometimes bitter...but I am still here writing to you...a pleasent experience.
 
Hi Rupert,

What good advice you have given. I know from experience that these bullies can affect your life years later, but like you I am still here and life moves on. I used to think it was something wrong with me, but now think like a lot of you that these are basically insecure people, but it doesn;'t help at the time. I quite agree about moving on. I did this eventually and only wish I had done it sooner.

Rustie
 
Hi Rustie: Your post, in my opinion, says it all. Although I can't say I was bullied as such at work. I grew up in an era, after WW2, where bully's could make people's lives a misery both at school and in the work place. Yes, it does stay with people who have suffered bullying often for the rest of their lives. I remember Oprah Winfrey having a programme on school bullies
a couple of years ago. She brought on people who had been bullied at school 30 years ago and they had a hard time not to break down in tears when they related their stories. It was very sad.

Here in Vancouver a radio station talk show host picked up on a special day that was started in Nova Scotia where a schoolboy who had a friend who was being badly bullied decided to fight back and declared a "Pink Shirt Day". Everyone wore something pink on a certain day in support of people who had been or were being bullied. Adults and children.

It caught on here and in other places in the world. In a week or so
we will have a second "Pink Shirt Day" in Vancouver. The idea is to bring attention to bullying both at school and in the work place.
 
Hi thanks for that,
Sometimes it is too easy to think it is something about ourselves especially when we are feeling so low. I like the idea of the pink day to support people being bullied. It is good that this post has opened things up and highlighted the fact that bullying isn't always physical.

Rustie
 
So sad to read of so may bullies in the workplace. While I was going through my traumatic experience, I felt so alone and asif I was the ONLY person experiencing extreme emotions!

I always said that I do not wish what I went through upon my enemy - with the thought that nobody else ever went throught this nor will this happen to anyone!

How wrong I have been - hope each and every one of you who have been through this trauma came out much stronger at the other side!

GOOD LUCK FOR THE FUTURE AND KEEP SMILING!!
 
Hi Emmie,

I know what you mean about feeling you were the only one. I also had this experience and its very lonely. For me also it was a very traumatic experience I try to think now that its the bullies that have the problems. How sad that the only way you can feel good is to bully someone. Looking at the other threads it seems that we have all survived and I think it probably does make you stronger, but in my case it took a long time.

All the best
Rustie
 
I have read this thread with interest and although I was never bullied Michael was. It is so difficult to see a loved one subject to this terrible treatment. Michael is a strong person and he actually walked away which I think took great courage as he had children a mortgage etc. The man was his immediate boss who he had to ring every night and so did everyone else so he would spend all night trying to get through. The man manipulated his workforce for his own ends but as Michael was so close he just made his life a misery. Tearing up reports etc. The final straw came when at a Christmas do he tried it on with one of the office girls when she reported it she was sacked and he carried on. I have never wished anyone harm in my life but I did wish this man dead for what he put our family through. I am quite alarmed at the amount of people who have and probably still are bullied at work.
 
Wendy, the bullies in life are just trying to replace the self esteme that they sadly lack. Well done to Michael and all those that overcome these sad, dictatorial failures..........

An all to common example; my son was bullied at school several years ago. I informed him that the bullying would stop the moment that he responded to and challenged the culprits behaviour. My son Tom did so at the cost of a blooded lip..... the bully never intimidated Tom again.

Mabz
 
I know this thread is about Bullying in the Work place - but want about those bullied in school?

I believe In order to eliminate bullying from your life one needs more than one strategy just in case one strategy doesn’t work. . .
For example, my parents always to told me to fight back and not to be coward and the bullying will stop – However, sometimes it can make matters worse. . .
Victims of bullying must know that the bullies want to make them mad and sad. Never let the bully see you crying or getting emotional, it is a sure bet that the bullying will continue.
That is one thing I never did was to cry for fear of being called a cry baby. So for this reason, it is important for victims of bullying to do their best to maintain their composure if they are being bullied.
1. Ignore the bully. Ignoring the bully can sometimes prove effective. Ignoring and walking away without saying anything is a strategy you can try. Even though it may be difficult, try not to act upset about the teasing. If you appear hurt or angry at the taunts, the bullying will continue. This strategy works well for those who have a sense of well-being. Walking away while being teased may encourage the bully to continue teasing you because the bully thinks you are scared. However, it is a simple strategy to try. If it doesn’t work, move on to strategy number two.
2. Agree with the bully. Remember, bullies are trying to get a reaction out of you. If they don’t get a reaction, there is a chance they will leave you alone. If a bully is making fun of your clothes or a physical characteristic, just agree with them. This is a strategy that worked for me when I was in school. I was constantly being teased because I was quite small for my age. . . I just agreed with them this took the power away from the bullies
3. Stay in a group. Bullies like to pick on those who are alone. It is much easier to bully without a support system.
Victims of bullying and those who are potential victims must be aware of a number of strategies they can use to eliminate bullying from their lives. Having only one strategy available to them is not enough. Bullying is a painful experience and victims must know how to protect themselves. . . .
 
Beryl all of that makes sense to me. My grandson the one who plays the guitar [I sent him to you] was bullied something awful the same as yourself because of his build and height. Now because of his tallent he has played to both his school and a neighbouring one. Those bullies all of a sudden look up to him and are rather envious deep down. He also takes his black belt in karate in April. Jean.
 
Extactly Jean Like your grandson I knew I was smarter than the Bullies. . .
 
My friend is being bullied at work right now and is experiencing all the self doubt and everything else that goes with it. She was suspended by her boss while he investigates allegations of certain misdemeanors which she vigorously denies. The letter he gave her informing her of the suspension stated that the investigation was to last 4 weeks, it has now been 10 weeks and they have today informed her that they will need another 3 weeks to carry out further investigations. It seems to me that the boss is having difficulty in finding any wrong doing on her part. Does anyone know if there is a time limit on these matters. A colleague of hers was once suspended for 2 YEARS and they couldn't find one thing that he had done wrong and is still working for the company.

I believe in KARMA. I was bullied at work and lost all my self confidence, was suicidal etc. I never complained to anyone because I thought it was my own fault (I have since found that this is quite common) When the opportunity arose I volunteered for redundancy, and the director was sacked, he found another similar job with a rival company and was sacked from there too! ha ha ha
 
l can'nt actually say l was ever bullied at work, but when l worked in the early fifties some of the men could'nt keep their hands to themselves, l was very young and nieve and did'nt know what to do when this happened it did'nt take me long to realise NOT to take the lift when certain somebodies were in it.....l would take the stairs most times.....a woman had very little rights then.... why the woman could'nt even smoke in the office while the men could....it really was a differnt world then.....My son had a terrible time at school as he was bullied ar school so much to the point he did'nt want to go.....Kurt was very english looking fair skinned white curley hair and blue eyes the school thought this was the reason infact they even suggested l dye his hair...well after a certain incident had occured (his mouth was all cut up after he was hit in the mouth with a book and he had a full mouth of braces) the school was threatened with a law suit things changed very rapidly, and the culprits had a lot to answer to ......as many years ago as this happened l often wonder if this experience made Kurt who he is to-day always helps the underdog is very compassionate BUT very quick to take offense.......thank goodness the schools are finally becoming aware of how dangerouse bullying is.....in this small school district we have here in Lake Jackson we've had suicides all because of bullying......children can be so cruel at times .....Brenda
 
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