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Titles Mr; Mrs; Miss; Master

norfolk brummie

norfolk brummie

gone but not forgotten
It was always so simple. Now it is so confusing.
Last year we sent a birthday card to the young son of some friends. I addressed it to MASTER. Later his mother told me that she had no idea of what it meant!
Our 30 year old niece lives with her male partner, and their son. Have their own house etc. Married in everything but name. Do I still call her Miss?
Now about to write to a couple of male friends that have gone through a civil ceremony. Do I address it to Mr & Mr, or
Mrs and ? I am completely confused. Eddie
 
This is my first post here, so greetings.

That question has been on my mind, norfolk brummie - my preference is to not use titles and just use a person's name, thereby avoiding the issue.

It was on my mind because I recently received a card addressing me as 'Miss'. Bearing in mind that I'm 53 and have been with my partner for nearly 30 years, I found it very old fashioned.
 
norfolk brummie said:
It was always so simple. Now it is so confusing.
Last year we sent a birthday card to the young son of some friends. I addressed it to MASTER. Later his mother told me that she had no idea of what it meant!
Our 30 year old niece lives with her male partner, and their son. Have their own house etc. Married in everything but name. Do I still call her Miss?
Now about to write to a couple of male friends that have gone through a civil ceremony. Do I address it to Mr & Mr, or
Mrs and ? I am completely confused. Eddie
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I was in the same boat Eddie with gay friends, so i just use their names & no title, ie To James & martin. I`ve had no complaints. In the past i have used "master" & "esquire". but i doubt those terms are still used. I don`t know why they can`t wait till all the old people have died before they start changing things :=}
 
I always us Ms when I'm not sure of Mrs or Miss. And Messrs when needing to address a couple of gays, male or female. No complaints so far. Master is a difficult one and I always get a strange reaction from my male grandchildren. The only alternative would be to use Mr.

Maurice
 
I though the title Ms (miz) was introduced to replace the title for a woman regardless of their marital status. as for gay men, no matter what they are never going to be women unless they have the operation so what is wrong with using the title Mr. As for those who have joined in a civil ceremony the surely Mr A & Mr B ***** would suffice.
 
I agree with you Phil.

As for master I thought that had died out years ago.

Miranda you say you have been with your partner for 53 years but by 'partner' it implies you are not married so are technically a Miss on official papers but
if you privately use his surname then I would ask people to refer to you as Mrs.

Smudger you comment about leaving changes until all old people had died made me laugh, I send my family crazy about how people are addressed these days.
I do not want to call my doctor, dentist, solicitor by their christian name , I would like to keep it more official please and i do not want the receptionist to call me by my christian name.
Silly really because i am 73 this year and all the young children in my road call me by my Christian name , something we would never have dared to do when we were kids.
 
Alberta said:
Miranda you say you have been with your partner for 53 years but by 'partner' it implies you are not married so are technically a Miss on official papers but if you privately use his surname then I would ask people to refer to you as Mrs.
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Actually, my age is 53 and I've been with my partner for nearly 30 years, but that doesn't matter.

On official papers, I am a 'Ms'. 'Miss' to me, and to many others when you look into it, implies immaturity and I regard it as a title for children, not women in middle-age. I am no maiden, after all ;) I'd prefer to have no title at all but, if I must use one, then I don't see why it should involve my marital status; that is my own business and it seems very old fashioned that women cannot be afforded the respect of keeping their marital status private.
 
Alberta said:
I send my family crazy about how people are addressed these days.
I do not want to call my doctor, dentist, solicitor by their christian name , I would like to keep it more official please and i do not want the receptionist to call me by my christian name.
Silly really because i am 73 this year and all the young children in my road call me by my Christian name , something we would never have dared to do when we were kids.
Click to expand...

We had a new young doctor at our practice (why is it called a practice?) Anyway, i made the mistake of calling him "doc" He swivelled round in his chair & said " has somebody else come into the room?" I took that as a rebuke & to call him doctor in future.
 
Probably get taken to task but i would suggest that it is called a practice because any diagnosis is really only a practiced guess, and will only be confirmed if either tests confirm it or the patient gets better with the treatment
 
Smudger said:
We had a new young doctor at our practice (why is it called a practice?) Anyway, i made the mistake of calling him "doc" He swivelled round in his chair & said " has somebody else come into the room?" I took that as a rebuke & to call him doctor in future.
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Sounds a bit of a pompous prat . . .
 
The UK has always been a bit stuffed-shirt over these things. It took them decades to get out of calling sales reps Mr. Here in Crete we call our doctors and consultants by their first names and vice-versa - much more friendly!

Maurice
 
Miranda said:
Actually, my age is 53 and I've been with my partner for nearly 30 years, but that doesn't matter.

On official papers, I am a 'Ms'. 'Miss' to me, and to many others when you look into it, implies immaturity and I regard it as a title for children, not women in middle-age. I am no maiden, after all ;) I'd prefer to have no title at all but, if I must use one, then I don't see why it should involve my marital status; that is my own business and it seems very old fashioned that women cannot be afforded the respect of keeping their marital status private.
Click to expand...
I think the French have it about right (I may be wrong) where the change from Mademoiselle to Madame is simply based on maturity rather than marital status.

As an aside the house we live in was once owned by Spinster Sister who were known by everyone in the village as the P**** Sisters into their old age.
 
Just checked and it appears I got the wrong impression though the French Government have directed that Madame should no longer identify marital status.

As for the use of Mr/Dr etc I side with Alberta on this. I know my Doctor's name is Stuart and my Dentist is Paul but would no more use their first names when I visit professionally as fly in the air. We often complain of the lack of respect nowadays and I feel part of this is the over familiarity we now get in shops and coffee houses.
 
Bernard,
It is the same in schools.
Teaching music in Norfolk schools for almost 15 years, I noticed this 'modern' tendency to call teachers by their Christian name.
Quite frankly, is does not work. It is too 'familiar'. There is not the same respect as calling a teacher, Mr; Miss; or Mrs; Eddie
 
Some 60 years ago as a 13/14 year old I played cricket in an adult team. On the field I called my colleagues by their Christian names but as we crossed over the boundary off the field of play I felt obliged to call them "Mr.".
I don't think the GP who reacted to being called "doc" was being pompous I think he expected to be called by his forename. Working as a call taker in PTS ambulance service most patients were not "precious" about their titles. I think it is up to each individual to make it known how they like to be addressed and for their wishes to be respected.
 
devonjim said:
I don't think the GP who reacted to being called "doc" was being pompous I think he expected to be called by his forename. Working as a call taker in PTS ambulance service most patients were not "precious" about their titles. I think it is up to each individual to make it known how they like to be addressed and for their wishes to be respected.
Click to expand...

I`m fairly sure very few (if any) would address their doctor by their Christian name. The reason i used the term "doc" was because he was very young & i thought i was being trendy. Won`t make that mistake again. I could just imagine looking into the eyes of my usual doctor & saying, " Christine, i`m constipated"
 
On the subject of being addressed by ones rank. During basic training, one N/S guy wasn`t shy in telling everyone how disgusted he was at being conscripted. On one occasion our platoon corporal called this guy by his surname & to everyone`s amazement he replied to the corporal, "My rank is private, please address me as such" The corporals response, "while you`re under my command i`ll call you anything i want, do you understand Mary" "Yes Jimmy, you don`t mind if i call you Jimmy do you?" Again to everyones amazement the corporal smiled & said, "private jones (not real name) i can see you & i are going to be best of friends aren`t we"? Nco`s are the comedians & backbone of the British army.
 
Living in a village some of the doctors are known socially outside of the practice and one on one I would address them by their forename even when in their professional role. I do refer to them as Dr. etc. to a third party in their work environment but by their forename in the social surroundings. Things were similar with reference to MDs and the like at work one on one by forename but as Mr etc. in gatherings.
 
A while ago selling raffle tickets to a lady I asked "is that Mrs. or Miss" " Countess" was the reply. Oopps! And she was.
 
One of our doctors retired recently, he had been given socks by his family which had the cartoon figure Bugs Bunny saying "What's Up Doc?"!!! A well respected doctor, with a sense of humour.
rosie.
 
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