Rowan that is such a shame but I know it happened, being a doting granny I find it difficult to understand. I have recently made contact with a lady who was the daughter of my cousin. I never knew she existed. I only saw my cousin once. The lady told me her grandparents divorced that was my Aunt. She said her father had to choose which parent he went with aged five(can you believe that). He chose his father whether this upset my aunt I don't know. The lady told me she only remembered visiting her gran once and she made more fuss of the family dog! She was lucky though because the lady her grandfather eventually married was a lovely gran to her and her sister. I felt quite upset when she told me her story. I also found a couple of photo's of my father with an unknown boy, now I know it was this lady's father my cousin. At least he was happy in later life and married a lovely lady and had two lovely daughters. Sadly like my own father he died young. Heart trouble is the scourge of our family!