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3005 in Brumwegian Land

Di.Poppitt

Di.Poppitt

GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN
Fast forward in time, and in the land of Brumwegian a meeting of it elders had been called. The meeting place was in a quaint old building, it's original name long forgotten but the large H and P could still be read.
The elders gathering there were................
 
Part 2

...Were all founder member of BRA.
They could do wonders with Plastic surgery and Monkey glands these days..
As the average lifespan of wimmin' was now around 1100 it had truly put paid to the old saying 'A womans work is never done'
The downside was of course men were dying even earlier..Scientists had discovered being 'nagged to death' was now the second leading cause......
 
Part four

....the BRA Elders told their people to treat them kindly because they knew that men had the brain power and memory of a goldfish and had been put on earth to satisfy wimmin. There was one exception however the wimmin greatly feared him and that was the great idol called........
 
of course the 1100 year old women knew better.

The BRA elders, dressed in their finest gowns, with mek up by Max Factor, hats by Phillip Treacey and shoes by Jimmy Choo, had convened the meeting to discuss.........
 
,,, the Great Idol of "The Spare Rib",, this attractive icon of modern sculpture by the famous artist Joe Blokeo visited & worshipped daily by thousands of the oppressed menfolk of this modern egalitarian society.
These modern men were revolting & refusing their menial role play within this Amazonion culturization so the ruling "Wimmin" had to,,,,,
 
...cover the bodies and faces of these revolting looking men who were traveling round in packs under the banner "BARmen" and chanting words that sounded like "Oh what a life with a nagging wife, it's the best life of all innit"...
 
..... to the tune of 'If I Ruled the World'.

The wimmin decided to remove the statue of The Spare rib by Joe Blokeo, and dump it in the cut. All BARMEN to be given a packet of crisps in compensation.

The next item on the agenda, the banning of alcohol to every male in Brumwegian Land, was passed unanimously. With merry laughter the BRA wimmin toasted each other with...........
 
No, no, that was just a poor joke by one of the lesser menfolk - no the wimmen toasted themselves, filling jugs of gin and tonic and vodka and orange and lounging around on their luxurious couches. But they knew they had to sober up soon and get back to business. The problem was there were no eligible young men for them to marry, so they decided to embark on a journey to .....
 
On the quest for a mate.

What the elder high Priestess Kate MEANT was there no eligible handsome young men stupid enough to take on 1100 year old wrinklies who smelled of cheap Gin and wee.
So to find suitable partners they decided to go to the planet Earths' last Nature reserve where they knew dwelled a suitable breeding group of equal intelligence and only slightly less hairy.
These were of course genetically modified Orang Utans..
For millennia, Humans had found no real use for New Zealand and now when the wimmin arrived at this little backwater they were suprised to see all those little blonde haired monkeys living more or less like Humans do..
the really amazing part about all this was.....
 
Oh for goodness sake - I knew those blinkin' orangytang things would crop up somewhere :roll: BRA members - HELP!!!!
 
....that all the orangotang thingies had obviously been genetically modified to look like the BARmen. Such little thingies [no no gels, their faces] intelligent, good looking and amenable. Unfortunately they couldn't talk, so relied on gestures. The High Priestess Kate decreed that her drunken Handmaidens should therefore in future.................
 
,,, handle them with care,, lots of Love & affectations,, indeed to spoil them as in the old days of yore,,presently known as
:) "the Good old Days" when "Wimmin" were full of peanut envy & broke out in rashers of fried bacon on Sundays until that dreadful,,,,
 
.....day in 3005 when their George Foreman thingie broke down and the genetically modified monkeys all turned to fat and the great idol "Joe Blokeo" fell down in the heat, being made of plastircine. Thus rose the mighty state of BRA Womanhood, which continued for a thousand years. . The GM monkeys got transported to NZ and the wimmin walked around in................
 
3005

that Joe Blokeo's statue was now a very fine Bronze one,that all the local young lassies adored and were now walking around in Tshirt's with the Logo... "We love Joe"
 
Critque: I think this is a wonderful story that could easily make a Hollywood blockbuster. I award it * * * * *.
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