Changing religion

[Maria Magenta]

I wasn't quite sure where to put this query, so I hope I've put it in the right place.

In 1916 my grandmother became a Catholic to marry my Catholic grandfather, and her family disowned her. I wondered if this had happened in anyone else's family in Birmingham.

It was a rift that was never healed, and my grandmother's family didn't even have very much to do with my mother and aunt.

 

[bewdley]

My Dad was Catholic and Mum isn't. They married in 1946 the day after Dad was demobbed at B'ham Register Office, but Dad's eldest sister wouldn't recognise the marriage and wouldn't visit them, she also told everyone that they were living in sin and that their 1st born was a *******!! So in the end they had another Catholic marriage ceremony at St Patrick's, Dudley Road in Dec 1948 just to pacify her.

Mum didn't change religion to marry Dad so I suppose things had moved on in the space of 30 years!

 

[DPL]

Maria, you never stated if your grandfather was, not just a Catholic but heavens forbid, and Irish-Catholic! I'll take a punt and assume that he was. The only Catholics in Birmingham at that time were émigrés seeking work from Ireland (predominantly) , Scotland and Wales (and their descendants) and perhaps a few stubborn natives that refused to bow-down to Oliver Cromwell's reformation: novelist, Evelyn Waugh and his ancestors for example, though I don't think he frequented many (if any) of the pubs in Aston! Catholics at that time (1916) looked to Papal-Rome for their sovereign loyalty as opposed to the English Sovereign and that was regarded by many in England as treasonable. The social consequence of that meant Catholics were regarded with suspicion and treated as second-class citizens - aristocratic Catholics like the Waugh's were a curios novelty. Today's social equivalent of your grandparents marriage would be an English Christian (albeit a non-church going) girl converting to Islam to marry a Muslim.

 

[josietrue]

my father was irish catholic and married my mom in 1942 and becouse she was non catholic and english my fathers family disowned him his father included sadly he never saw he father again ( my dads family all lived in ireland )
however they where married for over 40years and had 16 children and thankfully us children was able to marry who we wanted what ever the religion
josie

 

[Maria Magenta]

Thanks for the replies. Grandad was Irish (the family had come over in 1900), and now I understand better.

So it looks as if it was quite a brave thing for my grandmother to do to marry him, and also perhaps he had rather a hard time in general. I hadn't realised either of these things. It explains something about his character; I didn't know my grandmother.

I like the idea of Evelyn Waugh drinking his way around the pubs of Aston, though. It could be the plot of a very original novel!!

 

[Astonian]

hi maria and bewdley
the situation of marrying into a catholic church soley depends on the type of priest
of the catholic church and is out lok on the church morals
as years ago the priest of catholic church was very strong and imtimating to the
irish population yes some familys would except it some would not
i had the experience from my own family thirty years or back now i am of
C of E christened and a practing christian ;when i met my now wife of forty years
we went to the local church which was the holy family coventy rd my wife is a true devoud practice holly christian all her life and worshiped through out her entire life by catholic and the family s known to the church [ irish ] well known at one point she was gonna be a nun ; even today she atends all the mases and christmas mid night mass with out fail but cutting the story short as you say about familys
my mother hated at the thought of changing my faith to catholicism she was agaist it but her family never hade a problem with me and excepted me but my family
rejected me but never or less we went to see th appropiate priest at the time but i will not mention is name for obvisous reasons but at the end of it he refused me the right of changing my faith to catholics and denied my wife the birth right of a catholic to get married at the holy family church coventry rd which is a fantastic church inside i beleive the catholic faith is better pratice than the old cof e church
to me there services are more closer to the heaven than the boring cof e church
so we had to go to the registry office broad street birmingham
so you see it also bends to the priest i know of st patricks dudley rd my inlaws went there and the kids i grew up with all went there like most kids from the winson green church a good school and church ; but the priest was abit of a rogue
for every sunday after mass lunch time or evening you would see the then priest drinking is favorite tot and stagger back across the rd from the lee bridge taveren
at the junction of heath street to me he was not as fussie as the the holy family
my wife was really up set but i did get my kids into the catholic faith even today and they got married into the faith but i do not think many familys now keep the faith like we do ; best wishes Astonian;

 

[Frothblower]

I married Cath who is Catholic. Not being very religious I even got married in a RC church just to please the inlaws.

 

[josietrue]

alan
i got married at the holy family church my husband was not catholic but the priest who married us had no problen with it he was a elderly priest and was lovely all he asked was would my husband bring his children up in the catholic faith
my husband agreed on the fact that if his children wanted to go to church they could if they didnt he would not force them to do so
josie

 

[Vivienne14]

My grandmother went to Gretna Green to marry, they also had a register office marriage and were married a third time at St. Chads, Birmingham. All to keep the family happy! My great grandfather was not a Catholic but he married a Portuguese Brazilian Catholic. They both maintained their separate religions right up until they died and were finally buried in totally separate churchyards of different denominations. Their children were raised as Catholics. Does make me wonder how they managed to keep it all together despite their different beliefs. Viv.

 

[Bishopsmate]

I was brought up Roman Catholic Christian and became a Pentecostal Christian in the 80s. I thought I was changing religions and was very nervous about admitting it at first. I attended Mass on Sunday Morning and a Pentecostal Service on the evening for quite a few months. My RC church organised a trip for some children from Belfast through the Churches Together and the Catholic children stayed with Protestant families and vice versa. We had a Protestant girl stay with us and we all had a great time, especially the discussions that went on as she could see that we were free to go and worship wherever we wanted. Eventually I stopped going to Mass as I realised that I could no longer deal with all the non-Biblical stuff.
I am amazed now how many people believe that Roman Catholicism is a religion on its own - have spent many happy hours trying to convince an old Irish gentleman neighbour that we were both Christians and worshipped the same God, many happy memories of him and these times.

 

[Astonian]

hi josietrue
I can recall the old priest at the holy family but it was after he left there was a tall middle aged priest whom we seen i will asked the wife and my oldest daughter of the church and of the school he was there for years
i think the guy [ the priest ] you are reerring too became head of the catholic church,s he done there holy communion and i beleive thats why it was all done in latin ; which i really felt some think but also the younger one whom declined me joining the faith asked at our interview had we comsemated our selves before being married . [ answer yes ] i think he did not agree to it but i also think it was the differnts of faith as the church never liked the cath; marrying int the other faith
from out side there faith ; which i think is wrong ;but any way the old catholic church was the stronger of the two religions and the catholic schools in them days was very strict as i am sure alot of people whom was brought up and educated at st patricks schol dudley rd was for if they missed the sunday mass the school teacher or the head would asked the pupil was you or not you in sunday mass
if you said you was there and he knew different the teacher or head would know when you told a fib ; he would asked the child what colour was of the vest the priest was wearing if you did not go you would not have got it right and then he knew you was telling fibs but thats why i decided to bring my kids up n the faith and they have turned out brilliently for me even when growing up never no trouble compaperd to the c of e ; whom was abit naughty shall we say
it does not matter whether or not you are a prodestant or catholic we are all equal
best wishes Astonian;;

 

[Alberta]

Your last line says it all Alan.
I am sure that Maria appreciates everyones answers to her query. Alberta.