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Xmas Cake

R

Rod

Guest
Ingredients

1 Cup of Water,
2 cups dried fruit,
1 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon salt,
8 oz nuts,
4 large eggs
1 teaspoon baking soda,
1 lemon, juice of
1 bottle whisky

Method

Sample the whisky to check for quality
Take a large bowl. Check the whisk again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric Mixer , beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whisky is still okay. Cry another tup
Turn off the mixerer. Break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the dried fruit. Mix on the tunrer. If the fried druit gets Stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a screwdriver.
Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticy
Next sift to cups of salt….. or something…. Who cares?
Check the whisky.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one tablespoon of sugar, or something; whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake fin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat of the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window check the whisky again and go to bed.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
 
Rod you beat me to it!

:D I had this one almost ready to post - you know what they say about 'Great minds' :wink:

How To Bake A cake

Turn on the oven.
Get out bowl, spoons and ingredients.
Grease the pan.
Crack the nuts.
Remove 18 blocks and 7 toy cars from the kitchen table.
Measure 2 cups of flour.
Remove Crystal’s hand from the flour and wash all the flour off her.
Measure another cup of flour to replace the flour on the floor.
Put the flour, baking power and salt in to the sifter.
Get out more mixed fruit to replace what Crystal has in her mouth.
Get the dustpan and brush, sweep up the bowl that Crystal knocked onto the floor.
Get another bowl and start again.
Answer the door.
Return to the kitchen and again remove Crystal’s hands and from the bowl and wash her.
Get out an egg.
Answer the phone taking Crystal with you.
Return to the kitchen.
Reach for the greased pan and wash out pinch of salt and re-grease the pan.
Look for Crystal.
Answer the phone.
Return to the kitchen and find Crystal.
Remove Crystal’s hands once again from the bowl.
Wash the butter off her.
Find all the nutshells, eggshells and Barbie doll in the mix.
Head for Crystal who flees, knocking bowl off the table.
Wash the walls, floor, table, dishes, Crystal and yourself.
Turn off oven.
Head for the door and go to the CAKE SHOP. :lol:
 
Loved your 'tipsy' cake Rod, and Pom I laughed at your homage to Crystal. wonderful:D The boys will never believe that it happens. Will they :?:
 
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