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Then and now.

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I count myself fortunate stitcher as I have said before. I have identical twins one unfortunately has an autistic son who at the moments future does not look very bright. The other grand children Jessica [Pete's daughter] Anthony and Jemma [Steves children] are involved in music and karate and don't hang around with the kids on the block as they say. Anthony plays his guitar and is doing GCSE music. Jemma is wolf and animal crazy and Jess plays the piano and drums. Their parents are like we were and are involved in their social lives. I used to teach swimming all day to Sutton school children come home cook then take the lads training the other side of town 5 nights a week. Saturday was gala night. That could be anywhere in the West Midlands. No regrets. Jean.
 
That message tells me that your grankids will have a better chance in life than many around here will. I told my son what my dad told me at exam time. If your exam marks are poor but your teacher tells me you tried, I will be happy. If you get very high marks and your teacher tells me you could have done better I will be angry. Another one was as follows, If you have a problem or you are struggling with something, talk to me about it. I am you dad and I will do all in my power to help you. He was taught that it is o/k for big men to cry and only a fool acts in temper. I could go on but I am sure you have heard most of it before. I hope the poorly child does alright.
 
Stitcher when my lads came home after their swimming session and said put the kettle on mom I knew that meant they wanted a heart to heart. We still talk about our times in the front room where they would discuss things that to many would appear trivial but to them were very important. Jean.
 
Gee gee Jean, I know what you mean, my lad is 38 soon and we still talk like we used to. He is a locksmith and gets called out to some very unsavoury establishments at all hours and because I earned money as a bodyguard amongst other things we do tend to talk a lot about how he handles different situations. We talk about other things as well like he wants to buy a bigger house and have his mom and me move in. We have told him that we are o/k but if things alter drastically we may change our mind.
 
A Fathers Love for his child can be just as deep as a Mother's Love, and my father like yours Stitcher and Jean, very much loved me, by sharing the responsibility with my mom for my life.

Music lessons swimming lessons etc, dad worked hard to pay for these things, and took an interest in everything I did. What’s more not being able to attend school when I was ill for 2 months, he helped with math so I didn’t fall behind. . . .

I think too, some fathers may not know how to show or express there love for their children. However, there are some fathers who don’t care or give a damn, maybe they are the ones in the divorce court, but that is another whole other subject – it takes two to tango!
 
Beryl M. Please dont think I am sexist but I believe that the sex equality law has made a big contribution to todays troubled youngsters. I know I am generalising here but many mothers have slept around too often as have a large number of men. Too often the children from these brief encounters see the more seedy side of life as they grow up, so they accept as normal what we were taught not to do. Someone has got to re-instate self respect into young women and getting pregnant as a career option must be stopped. When a married/working couple with all the correct values teach their children right from wrong, it all goes out of the window when the child starts school because the good are mixed with the bad.
 
I don't think you are one bit sexist Stitcher, for what you say is absolutely true – In today’s free and open society unfortunately, these thing will happen. I don’t know what the answer is, but maybe it should be harder for people to get married?

It is a fact parents don't always do what's best for their children, but what is most convenient for them. And those who don't make time for their children shouldn't have any. Children conceived out of love need to be loved and wanted. . .

With endless reminders of how imperfect we are as adults a parent’s love will help a child endure the hardships of today and the heartaches of tomorrow. It is the same love that will scold and praise all in the same breath. Baffling, but that’s a parent’s love, and it’s one which will help a child grow into a considerate human being.
 
Beryl M, I am so glad your opinion is similar to mine because I get fed up of being told the opposite. When I look around I rarley see a female I would have bothered with years ago, and to be fair my wife says the same about the young men we see when we are out and about. We have a large school by us and the language off quite a few of the pupils is digusting. There are obviously many decent youngsters out there but we seem only to notice the ones who make a noise or push their way about in the shops and such. Our G.P. asked me to call him Steve and I said "no because you are my Doctor". He explained that he wanted to my friend and I told him that friends went out together for a drink, a meal or a game of golf.
 
Beryl M, I was going to mention how many people I see spitting but changed my mind because some people may not like it for a post. What do you think.
 
Hi Lloyd: I wonder why also. It's not very nice but I am sure the signs must have been gone for years. When I was very little I used to try and read
that sign. Finally, I understood it. My Mother always told me to be quiet when I was trying to figure it out!
 
Fortunately for me Stitcher, I don’t live near a large school. I suspect some kids smoke or think it’s cool to spit when they see sports figures spitting.

Nevertheless, spitting is a socially unacceptable, disgusting dirty habit, which down grades the society we live in. Not only that it is a public health issue and should be made illegal because it can carry disease.

Why if a person has a medical problem they can’t carry a bunch of tissues is beyond me?

Like Lloyd says the signs should still remain. Here in Canada we do have such signs posted in some places such as clubs etc.

In Singapore ‘Spitting’ in public is a thousand dollars fine. . . .
 
Jenny- Maybe it was felt people didn't do it as much today and when they replaced the bus stops that was a saving. I agree they should have been left there or replaced.
I can remember men doing it all the time, I assumed it was because they had tobacco in their mouths from smoking. And then as you will probably remember people chewed tobacco, I'm sure that is still done in some places.
Although I don't think spitting should happen at all, I don't think it is such a wide spread habit where we live as it was when I was a child.
 
My reasoning on why the signs were removed was because the health of people has improved so significantly since the days of T.B. and the like chest infections.
I can reason that people suffering the complaints had to cough and remove the phlem that came from those congested chests. Long before the advent of tissues for even toilet paper was yesterdays or last weeks newspapers. The floor or ground of wherever they found themselves became the dumping ground. Expect it was for the same reason licensees would have spittons in the pub bars.
Can appreciate, like the city forefathers, this action would spread disease and the signs were put out as a deterrent for the times.
Wonder if anyone was prosecuted
Will.
 
Years ago there may have been a cause for more people to spit because we were all burning coal. Do you remember the smoke pouring out of every house chimney? This caused the pea soupers as they were known. A lot of people also had very dirty jobs and inhaled smoke,dust or fumes all day long. I know a council plumber who says that in some areas residents spit into the sink so he has the Hepatitis jab to be on the safe side. If spitting is a habit with todays youth and sportsmen, you would think they may spit in the house but I doubt that, so it is not a compulsive habit. I have seen young women/girls spitting, something you would never see years ago.
 
Love football Alf but it seems they just have to spit and it always happens when the camera zooms in on them. Do you remember the German player who was spat at by I think a Dutch player. He didn't retaliate either. Was it Beckanbeaur. [don't know how to spell it]. Jean.
 
I think I remember that Jean worse still as they have shaken hands at the end of a game they spit in their hand before shaking if they are up set. That is gross but sports people get away with it. Kids on minor leagues pick up these habits from their heroes.
 
Nas, I can't argue with anything you say, but I have to repeat what I said before. I never hear kids laughing these days. In this country now,we have no community spirit or any sense of belonging in society. The prisons are overflowing to the point that many crimes now get a caution and dangerous violent convicts are being let out of jail early to make room for new offenders. People walk up or down the road and speak to no one. If I see a girl/woman in troible I steer clear because I do not want to be blamed for something I didnt do. My son is a locksmith and works with several others on security systems and the like. He goes to security exhibitions and he tells a new stab-proof vest is now being worn by school-teachers and shop-keepers. It is worn under a normal shirt. So you see, when I said things were better years ago I meant the spirit of local communities and societies and being able to go anywhere anytime. If you travel by bus you have to be prepared to put up with disgusting behaviour because if you say anything you could get killed. I dont see how a washing machine makes that alright.
 
The one thing I must say about today is like stitcher said if you see someone who maybe has been involved in an accident you try to help and the person takes a turn for the worst they may get accident claim lawyers on to you and sue. In the past you would act and think later. Mind you I think as a first aider I would follow our guide lines and do what your trained to do and face the consequenses afterwards. Working as a swimming instructo for years for the education dept they insured you for god know how much. Bye. Jean. ps. I think it is up to us to try and make the world a better place we are hear now and cannot change many things but as far as where we live we can and do make a difference.
 
We live in a materialistic world and I will readily admit I enjoy all the modern conveniences in life today. computers T.V etc equal rights, a higher standard of living, compared to some people living in the rest of the world, we are very lucky. However, there is a down side to all of this, in the question Stitcher is raising, is what’s wrong with our society?

The truth of the matter we live in a violent society and what can be done about it? When nearly every day we hear of shootings, school bullying, drugs, rapes, robberies, Is it any wonder that people question the ills of society?

We have more prisons, more police on the streets, metal detectors in our schools, a whole host of things that do not effectively cure the problems facing us. What we have is a band aid approach, but till attitudes change we will continue down the slippery road.

Parents are losing the grip for themselves. Do we need to be more liberal? The result is clear, if kids take drugs, girls will have kids at teenage, Often they are distracted… by a home that’s not a haven... uncaring and cold! How so sadly true, for far too many...It seems indifference about so many things today, even includes parenting, in far too many cases.

Once an individual, now a parent...life takes on a whole other meaning...not only are we responsible for our own actions but we must be for those of our children. Self centred parents too busy working for their so called dream, not seeing the hell that is awaiting them for neglecting their children. Add that to the rest of the apathetic world and we have the situation that continues today with no end in sight.

Young people besides learning the 3R's of reading, writing, and arithmetic need guidance and discipline, to be well grounded in values of morals, ethics and good manners, from both the home and school before they go out into the world and hope to make it better place. It is no wonder that in previous generations we had highly principled people,

Finally, with divorce so prevalent the children are the losers, for very often there is no foundation upon which a child can find unconditional love and acceptance.

It’s Love that can make the world a better place to live in.
 
Beryl M, you put it so much better than me. That is almost exactly what I was trying to say. I am very happy with my lot, in fact the only thing I am not chuffed about is how little time we all have left once we realise we are getting on a bit. I have been hoping that NAS would not think I am an old moaner. I was happy at school, I always enjoyed my work and I am enjoying my retirement.
 
Re spitting by footballers they also press a finger against each nostril and snort their waste onto the pitch, Cyril Trigg, Centre Forward with Bham City FC circa 1948/50`s always had an handkerchief tucked up his sleeve and blew his nose into when necessary, much more hygenic.
 
Re post 55 - How glad I am that I do not live in your world as it is not one I recognise other than in the more lurid tabloids. My grandchildren love their modern toys but also play happily with wooden toys dating from when their parents were children.

I have found this a most depressing thread and apologise if I am repeating myself.
 
The world is a constantly changing place, and not all change is for the better. We no longer have damp, infested back to back houses with one toilet shared by several families, nor do we only go to the doctor if we can afford to - but gone are the days when front doors could be left open for friends and neighbours to 'drop in' for a cuppa and a chat, and I could (and regularly did) leave my car unlocked on my drive with the keys in.
Overall I think life is better now than ever before, modern communication has shrunk the world where friends and acquaintances like us around the globe can chat online 24 hours a day if we wish, shops are open seven days a week, 24 hours in some cases (Mon-Sat) and we can buy fresh produce of all kinds the year round. Medicines and treatments keep us alive far longer than our ancestors would have dreamed of, and pensions allow the older generations to enjoy rest after their working lives.
There always has to be a down side, and there always will be an element of society who will never obey the 'rules of decency', and the modern communications I mentioned above spread the bad word as well as the good, and there are always some who will follow what they hear.
If you could go back to the thirties and tell your parents or grandparents what life is like today, the good and the bad, they wouldn't believe it.
I have a 4 month old granddaughter, and if she were to come back from her retirement years and tell me of the future some I would be delighted at, some I would be appalled at.
Has there ever been a 'best time'? I think that when Harold Macmillan said "You've never had it so good" he was right, but in many respects that could be said today with the same honesty.
 
Bernie D'Boult, don't let it depress you because I am sure the true British will win through eventually. I don't know where you are but life here is still pretty good, just very different. I don't know if it is the way I put it but I have said before that I and my wife are very happy, we have a very succesful son who is doing well with his business and neither of us has any debt The point I am trying to get across is that we never hear children laughing. Children do not show respect to others any longer. It is not really very clever to travel on public transport in the evenings. Binge drinking on a large scale, drugg addicts and dealers from age 10. School children giving birth. I know I am generalising and we still have plenty of good kids around but more and more adults and teens are accepting what is going on. More and more are taking part in this transition and hundreds of thousands of affluent people are moving abroad. For every improvement to life you can quote, I can quote a step backwards. I do not try to be a doom and gloom merchant and all this started because initially I said my favourite memory will always be Birmingham as it was, because without Birmingham and its engineers, inventors entreprenures, is that spelt right, todays world be a different place. M/cars. M/cycles. Aircraft. Weapons for war ??? Jewellery. Railway Engines. Learning. Extremely hard working, brave people. I could go on and on. I will always stand by my initial message and that was that people always had time for each other, were always helpful towards each other and children were always laughing and had the ability to amuse themselves without getting into trouble.
 
I recognise I can not change your views and won't even try but please stop generalising as not ALL children are as you describe. Not all people are as you describe. Don't worry I will not be slitting my wrists as I know life today is not how you describe.

I will say, however, that on this forum and another I use, I have been astounded at how complete strangers are ready to extend a helping hand [even to visiting people in hospital] they have only ever met in cyber space if they are in need. I am with NAS on this subject and do not want to turn the clock back in any way.
 
Stitcher - Go back to the beginning of the thread which started on One Favorite thing about Birmingham and then we started this thread as the content was different.
Since then you will see most people including myself agree with you that Birmingham was a great place and many of us our families were part of that development. My own family in the Jewelery trade from the early 1800's, my dad was building planes and in the fire service during the war and my mom as a volunteer after the war when they were short of staff.
I think the issue is not your feelings about the community friendship and support that existed in the past but your negativeness about the present. I feel sorry for the young people on the forum that live in Birmingham and they read your comment that Birmingham has no future, Birmingham is their future and we have to make the young people feel they can make a difference.
All societies have changed around the world not just Birmingham, it was the same when we were growing up but today you are part of the EEC and a global world.
I am glad to read that you and your wife are happy because life is too short to be any other way. I wish you both every happiness in the many years you have ahead.
 
Now we have sex education in schools, has it open the doors to hell? Are young people given too much information that they can't wait to experiment? Are they informing the kids too young with too much information? Morals out of the school, sex is in. And if you get pregnant don't worry there's an abortionist waiting with his tools to kill that living baby. . .
 
Did you see it in the news the other week Beryl that a group of schoolgirls got together and made a pact to become pregnant. Most of them did but I can't remember where they came from. Another thing came on the other day about teanagers deliberately becoming pregnant to get a council flat. Look after yourself. Jean.
 
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