Peter Walker
gone but not forgotten
I think it's a pity people don't talk much about how they learned the facts of life, because it's something which has changed so much over the years, and it's a vital part of history. Speaking for myself, in 1944 when I was 11 my mum did her duty, a few days after my dad went back from leave to the RAF, telling her it was time for her to do the necessary with me (although he was the qualified teacher!). I'm sure she did her best - some of it certainly corrected the nonsense I had already picked up from school, but I found it difficult to believe that my mum and dad, and indeed all the grown-ups I knew, would have done such things.
At Aston Grammar School we had a very superficial briefing about a year later but when I was about 14 or 15 we had a teacher, Mr Arthurs, who gave us a brilliant series of lessons on "General Science". One of these was on creation - where we came from and what we were. It was then that I first realised I was not only alive, but also had the entire responsibility for leading my own life - I found this quite frightening.
Another lesson a week or so later was on the "Birds and Bees" topic. He briefly but clearly covered the physical details with relevant technical advice, but in the context of leading an adult life and especially of long-term human relationships. He stressed the importance of respect and loyalty. I think I owe him a lot for my happy 45 years of married life, although I so regret some of my earlier follies, when I really knew better.
I always remember how about 50 years ago a girl friend told me how her mother never told her any of the facts of life, and being too timid to ask her about her first period, had to ask her married sister what to do. Similarly she had to rustle up 7s 11d to buy her first bra, which she was terrified to leave for her mum to wash. But she did wash it, without saying a word.
We hear that mums rarely gave their daughters positive advice on married life, but that if a girl became pregnant before marriage, mum would either arrange an abortion or send her of to a home for a month, at the end of which the innocent baby would be taken away and the girl would return under a cloud.
Thank heavens life is not quite so bad today.
Pete
At Aston Grammar School we had a very superficial briefing about a year later but when I was about 14 or 15 we had a teacher, Mr Arthurs, who gave us a brilliant series of lessons on "General Science". One of these was on creation - where we came from and what we were. It was then that I first realised I was not only alive, but also had the entire responsibility for leading my own life - I found this quite frightening.
Another lesson a week or so later was on the "Birds and Bees" topic. He briefly but clearly covered the physical details with relevant technical advice, but in the context of leading an adult life and especially of long-term human relationships. He stressed the importance of respect and loyalty. I think I owe him a lot for my happy 45 years of married life, although I so regret some of my earlier follies, when I really knew better.
I always remember how about 50 years ago a girl friend told me how her mother never told her any of the facts of life, and being too timid to ask her about her first period, had to ask her married sister what to do. Similarly she had to rustle up 7s 11d to buy her first bra, which she was terrified to leave for her mum to wash. But she did wash it, without saying a word.
We hear that mums rarely gave their daughters positive advice on married life, but that if a girl became pregnant before marriage, mum would either arrange an abortion or send her of to a home for a month, at the end of which the innocent baby would be taken away and the girl would return under a cloud.
Thank heavens life is not quite so bad today.
Pete
The only teaching I had at school on the subject was a couple of films about 'The Curse' when I started Bloomsbury Girls at age 11 and we were told to tell our mother's what we had seen. (Some parents even complained about that :!: )
