R
Robert Harrison
Guest
STAN
Spotty Muldoon was a funny fellow,
He was a trainer of performing fleas.
Tall and skinny, a face paled yellow
He wore wellies turned down at the knees.
He fed his fleas on old horse meat
Bought from the local knackers yard,
Trained them to jump about two feet,
Three, when he fed them bread and lard.
Old Spotty started by training kids nits
He got them from the lads up the road.
For a dozen he paid in threepenny bits
From one real dirty kid sixpence a load.
Dirty haired nits were bigger than most,
It was worth paying out the extra tanner
To dirty Stan, the nits most favoured host
Who became rich in this unusual manner.
His girl, who was only after his wealth,
One day when out strolling she said,
I am getting worried about my health,
Please Stan, wear a bag on your head.
Stan walked with her, a bag on his head
Had his lodgers jumping around in fits.
He started to wash his hair before bed
Clean hair gave his girl nits in his stead.
She became rich, Stan strapped for cash,
And now she wears a bag on her head
And as long as their heads never do clash
He is content to spend her cash instead.
Spotty Muldoon was a funny fellow,
He was a trainer of performing fleas.
Tall and skinny, a face paled yellow
He wore wellies turned down at the knees.
He fed his fleas on old horse meat
Bought from the local knackers yard,
Trained them to jump about two feet,
Three, when he fed them bread and lard.
Old Spotty started by training kids nits
He got them from the lads up the road.
For a dozen he paid in threepenny bits
From one real dirty kid sixpence a load.
Dirty haired nits were bigger than most,
It was worth paying out the extra tanner
To dirty Stan, the nits most favoured host
Who became rich in this unusual manner.
His girl, who was only after his wealth,
One day when out strolling she said,
I am getting worried about my health,
Please Stan, wear a bag on your head.
Stan walked with her, a bag on his head
Had his lodgers jumping around in fits.
He started to wash his hair before bed
Clean hair gave his girl nits in his stead.
She became rich, Stan strapped for cash,
And now she wears a bag on her head
And as long as their heads never do clash
He is content to spend her cash instead.
