Valerie Dunbar
master brummie
Severing the Bond
I have decided to end our friendship. I know this may sound strange, and even to a degree extreme, for we have been seeing each other for quite a long time. Nevertheless this is the way that I want it. I guess an explanation is in order but where do I start?
If I said that at the beginning I enjoyed your company, looking forward to the times when we could be together, that would certainly be true. If I said that I enjoyed our first evening together...well you know that already so there is nothing to explain. We shared many lovely times. You were forever there for me, ready to please without so much as a murmer. I on the other hand grew selfish wanting, needing always anticipating our togetherness more and more.
All my friends began to notice that I much preferred your company to theirs. I agree that I did. You charmed me with your seductive ways. In fact, it became in some ways more than a friendship. How could I forget those nights when I greedily took all from you, begging for more, taking you immediately we met without a second thought for anyone or anything?
I know that you will never be able to reproach me for neglecting you, becauseyour influence led me to extravagance beyond my means. I gave you more than I ever gave anyone else. I did it without question. I wanted to, for you were such a good friend in the beginning. Cost meant nothing to me as I enjoyed spending money and time with you.
The problem began when you changed. I have to admit I was surprised at first, for you never seemed to be the sort that would make things difficult, but suddenly you were there at all times of the day and night. I had no time without you. The demands for my time began to take precedence over everything else. You cannot deny that we had agreed to keep our friendship secret as soon as we both discovered that we depended on each other more and more.
Now it has come to this. A salutary waking up, a coming to terms with an impossible situation. We could not go on the way we were. You had become too possessive, I in turn had become too possessed. I doted on you and you were slowly taking over, consuming my very existence, wanting my very soul. It does not matter now for this is only an explanation after all. A way of trying to make everything right. A decision on my part to admit that everything concerning us was wrong.
My friends are trying to understand, although they are hesitant to go back to the time when I valued their company. It is going to be hard proving to them that I still need them around, especially as I have turned my back on them all for so long. This is why I am breaking free from our destructive relationship. It is the only way forward. Anyway I promised. You can perhaps understand that I would not want to disappoint them again.
Somehow I feel strangely liberated not that I have told you how I feel. I will see you around, that is for sure, but you will excuse me if I decide not to acknowledge your presence. I still find you attractive and would not want to let myself down by asking the barman for another drink. After all that was when my friendship with you first began, Mr Alcohol.
copyright Valerie Dunbar
I have decided to end our friendship. I know this may sound strange, and even to a degree extreme, for we have been seeing each other for quite a long time. Nevertheless this is the way that I want it. I guess an explanation is in order but where do I start?
If I said that at the beginning I enjoyed your company, looking forward to the times when we could be together, that would certainly be true. If I said that I enjoyed our first evening together...well you know that already so there is nothing to explain. We shared many lovely times. You were forever there for me, ready to please without so much as a murmer. I on the other hand grew selfish wanting, needing always anticipating our togetherness more and more.
All my friends began to notice that I much preferred your company to theirs. I agree that I did. You charmed me with your seductive ways. In fact, it became in some ways more than a friendship. How could I forget those nights when I greedily took all from you, begging for more, taking you immediately we met without a second thought for anyone or anything?
I know that you will never be able to reproach me for neglecting you, becauseyour influence led me to extravagance beyond my means. I gave you more than I ever gave anyone else. I did it without question. I wanted to, for you were such a good friend in the beginning. Cost meant nothing to me as I enjoyed spending money and time with you.
The problem began when you changed. I have to admit I was surprised at first, for you never seemed to be the sort that would make things difficult, but suddenly you were there at all times of the day and night. I had no time without you. The demands for my time began to take precedence over everything else. You cannot deny that we had agreed to keep our friendship secret as soon as we both discovered that we depended on each other more and more.
Now it has come to this. A salutary waking up, a coming to terms with an impossible situation. We could not go on the way we were. You had become too possessive, I in turn had become too possessed. I doted on you and you were slowly taking over, consuming my very existence, wanting my very soul. It does not matter now for this is only an explanation after all. A way of trying to make everything right. A decision on my part to admit that everything concerning us was wrong.
My friends are trying to understand, although they are hesitant to go back to the time when I valued their company. It is going to be hard proving to them that I still need them around, especially as I have turned my back on them all for so long. This is why I am breaking free from our destructive relationship. It is the only way forward. Anyway I promised. You can perhaps understand that I would not want to disappoint them again.
Somehow I feel strangely liberated not that I have told you how I feel. I will see you around, that is for sure, but you will excuse me if I decide not to acknowledge your presence. I still find you attractive and would not want to let myself down by asking the barman for another drink. After all that was when my friendship with you first began, Mr Alcohol.
copyright Valerie Dunbar
