SuBee
master brummie
(Names have been changed)
It had been a long day.
Having being drained to dehydration point at work, I was in real need of a diversion.
'I know!!' I exclaimed to myself - my best ideas always seems to provoke that sort of response in me..........'a little bit of retail therapy is what I need'
Cat lick completed, and off with my uniform, I donned a skirt, tshirt and heels.....I HAD to wear heels - this was SERIOUS retail therapy. I was not returning empty handed. I intended to return with at least ONE outfit.
I parked my car (remembering which car I was in :roll: ), right by the entrance to Beatties....and marched into the shop. Almost immediately I was accosted by a girl who resembled a mobile grown up barbie doll, 'misting me'..........it seemed pretty pointless to hear 'would madam like to try Estee's new fragrance?'...............'I think madam has!' was my curt response. Clearly my facial expression had not conveyed my true feelings of the experience. 'My names Monica, and Estee would like to invite you to a free makeover...........would Madam be interested?' Monicas hand was palm side down placed mid shoulderblade across my back, there was no pressure applied, but I felt the sublingual attack on my body.
Now I'm a strong assertive person, it often get me into all sorts of strife, but today I felt weak and in need of comfort.
'Hmmmmmmmmm'..........'a make over, might be just what I need' I thought to myself. As we approached the counter I caught sight of 'Barbie 2', Monicas sidekick. Now, although it had been a rough day, I distinctly recognised the look that 'Monica' and 'Michelle' exchanged, as I approached and Michelle got a clear sight of the 'job in hand'
'This is Sue'. It was real uncanny how the two girls had such high pitched squeeky voices, and I wondered if I should attempt to emulate - so as to feel part of the group - but thought if I didnt pull it off, my face was in their hands and it probably wasnt such a good idea. Smiles and nods exchanged, I was left in the 'capable' hands of Michelle.
'Now what can we do for you?'....It seemed more like a project for her than a question for me. I decided to answer though. 'Well' I started, being uncomfortably aware of how deep my voice seemed in comparrison to hers 'I dont actually wear make up really'. Shock, Horror, Disbelief, are facial expressions that look quite natural when watching a disaster of epidemic proportions, I wasnt actually prepared for Michelle to display such a reaction to my confession. 'We'll have you looking 'beautiful'...............your husband wont recognise you'. Apart from having my 'beauty' graded by this statement, I also was perplexed as to why I would want to undergo a transformation that would leave me unrecognisable by the man i had chosen to share my life with.
Wrapped up like I was being preparred for tutenkarmoon, I was 'cleansed'.
I soon realised that my plea's of 'not too much' and 'keep it natural' were falling on deaf ears........she was a woman on a mission.
'Did I like purple' 'Had I ever used concealer' Lip Gloss is in' 'Lashes with volume' 'bronze and contour'........ together with utensils that would have been quite at home on a building site, should have led me to understand that the outcome was going to be 'noticable'
'Let me fetch madam a mirror'..............my stomach curned away at the celery soup I had eaten earlier.
'See! 10 years younger!
I searched in my memory database for how old I used to think Una stubbs looked when she portrayed Aunt Sally in Worzel Gummedge.....................
'Different!' left my lips. It was the only word I could find, that would have been acceptable at this moment in time.
Michelle summond Monica....................but Monica was already on her way with another unsuspecting victim in tow. This time the Lady looked at me instead of Michelle. I must have reminded her of someone at the denatl practice she attended, because the lady suddenly recalled a dental appointment she had.
'10 years younger!!!' Michelle repeated, as if incase Monica hadnt noticed.
I'm not sure why, but I thanked them both, collected my lip gloss, mascara and blusher.........and continued my original quest to find an outfit.
I soon had a collection of garments under my arm and headed for the solace of the changing room. It was a ladies communial room and there was only myself and another woman of similar age to me in there, only I looked 10 years younger of course.
We soon got chatting, she lived in Handsworth with her Taxi driver husband - Alan - and two children..........we had led similar lives and and in the short space of being together were getting on like a house on fire. Periodically she popped in and out of the changing room to show Alan her outfits in situ. Between ourselves we commented on our attire and selected our chosen outfits.
As we exited the changing room, In the distance I saw Alan.
'NOOOOOOOOOO - Alan Smith!' I thought to myself, I hung aroung with him and a group of others when I was 15! I hadnt seen him for over 20 years. What a coincidence!
As I approached, with my Poppy Red Glossy beaming smile, he looked horrified.
I could see that he recognised me, but didnt look happy at all about it. Denise, his wife, was no longer behind me, she had stopped to look at some matching accessories. Alan and I had eye to eye contact, and he was shaking his head in a pleading sort of way. I was confused. He clearly recognised me, we had no romantic history, we were just a group of friends that hung aroung together, but he was making it quite plain not to make contact with him.
I was nearly beside him when he quietly said........'please no, its been a long time, and I no longer go to the XXXX club, my wife found out and we have worked through it, please dont say anything'.
At this point I do realise that I should have said who I was and how we knew each other. The XXXX club was a club I knew the reputation of well. It was frequented by men who wanted a relaxing massage. I couldnt believe it!!!! Alan had mistaken me for a 'lady of the night'. It was at this point I really wished that Michelle had been more frugal with the blusher. I nodded to Alan as I walked past him to the cashier.
Boots was my next port of call, and I promise you that their makeup removal wipes are very good value and effective.
As I arrived back home, my husband enquired as to my day, 'I bumped into Alan Smith and his wife' I said 'but he didnt recognise me' 'Understandable', Tony replied, 'Its gotta have been over 20 years since he last saw you'
In theory 'only 10' I thought
It had been a long day.
Having being drained to dehydration point at work, I was in real need of a diversion.
'I know!!' I exclaimed to myself - my best ideas always seems to provoke that sort of response in me..........'a little bit of retail therapy is what I need'
Cat lick completed, and off with my uniform, I donned a skirt, tshirt and heels.....I HAD to wear heels - this was SERIOUS retail therapy. I was not returning empty handed. I intended to return with at least ONE outfit.
I parked my car (remembering which car I was in :roll: ), right by the entrance to Beatties....and marched into the shop. Almost immediately I was accosted by a girl who resembled a mobile grown up barbie doll, 'misting me'..........it seemed pretty pointless to hear 'would madam like to try Estee's new fragrance?'...............'I think madam has!' was my curt response. Clearly my facial expression had not conveyed my true feelings of the experience. 'My names Monica, and Estee would like to invite you to a free makeover...........would Madam be interested?' Monicas hand was palm side down placed mid shoulderblade across my back, there was no pressure applied, but I felt the sublingual attack on my body.
Now I'm a strong assertive person, it often get me into all sorts of strife, but today I felt weak and in need of comfort.
'Hmmmmmmmmm'..........'a make over, might be just what I need' I thought to myself. As we approached the counter I caught sight of 'Barbie 2', Monicas sidekick. Now, although it had been a rough day, I distinctly recognised the look that 'Monica' and 'Michelle' exchanged, as I approached and Michelle got a clear sight of the 'job in hand'
'This is Sue'. It was real uncanny how the two girls had such high pitched squeeky voices, and I wondered if I should attempt to emulate - so as to feel part of the group - but thought if I didnt pull it off, my face was in their hands and it probably wasnt such a good idea. Smiles and nods exchanged, I was left in the 'capable' hands of Michelle.
'Now what can we do for you?'....It seemed more like a project for her than a question for me. I decided to answer though. 'Well' I started, being uncomfortably aware of how deep my voice seemed in comparrison to hers 'I dont actually wear make up really'. Shock, Horror, Disbelief, are facial expressions that look quite natural when watching a disaster of epidemic proportions, I wasnt actually prepared for Michelle to display such a reaction to my confession. 'We'll have you looking 'beautiful'...............your husband wont recognise you'. Apart from having my 'beauty' graded by this statement, I also was perplexed as to why I would want to undergo a transformation that would leave me unrecognisable by the man i had chosen to share my life with.
Wrapped up like I was being preparred for tutenkarmoon, I was 'cleansed'.
I soon realised that my plea's of 'not too much' and 'keep it natural' were falling on deaf ears........she was a woman on a mission.
'Did I like purple' 'Had I ever used concealer' Lip Gloss is in' 'Lashes with volume' 'bronze and contour'........ together with utensils that would have been quite at home on a building site, should have led me to understand that the outcome was going to be 'noticable'
'Let me fetch madam a mirror'..............my stomach curned away at the celery soup I had eaten earlier.
'See! 10 years younger!
I searched in my memory database for how old I used to think Una stubbs looked when she portrayed Aunt Sally in Worzel Gummedge.....................
'Different!' left my lips. It was the only word I could find, that would have been acceptable at this moment in time.
Michelle summond Monica....................but Monica was already on her way with another unsuspecting victim in tow. This time the Lady looked at me instead of Michelle. I must have reminded her of someone at the denatl practice she attended, because the lady suddenly recalled a dental appointment she had.
'10 years younger!!!' Michelle repeated, as if incase Monica hadnt noticed.
I'm not sure why, but I thanked them both, collected my lip gloss, mascara and blusher.........and continued my original quest to find an outfit.
I soon had a collection of garments under my arm and headed for the solace of the changing room. It was a ladies communial room and there was only myself and another woman of similar age to me in there, only I looked 10 years younger of course.
We soon got chatting, she lived in Handsworth with her Taxi driver husband - Alan - and two children..........we had led similar lives and and in the short space of being together were getting on like a house on fire. Periodically she popped in and out of the changing room to show Alan her outfits in situ. Between ourselves we commented on our attire and selected our chosen outfits.
As we exited the changing room, In the distance I saw Alan.
'NOOOOOOOOOO - Alan Smith!' I thought to myself, I hung aroung with him and a group of others when I was 15! I hadnt seen him for over 20 years. What a coincidence!
As I approached, with my Poppy Red Glossy beaming smile, he looked horrified.
I could see that he recognised me, but didnt look happy at all about it. Denise, his wife, was no longer behind me, she had stopped to look at some matching accessories. Alan and I had eye to eye contact, and he was shaking his head in a pleading sort of way. I was confused. He clearly recognised me, we had no romantic history, we were just a group of friends that hung aroung together, but he was making it quite plain not to make contact with him.
I was nearly beside him when he quietly said........'please no, its been a long time, and I no longer go to the XXXX club, my wife found out and we have worked through it, please dont say anything'.
At this point I do realise that I should have said who I was and how we knew each other. The XXXX club was a club I knew the reputation of well. It was frequented by men who wanted a relaxing massage. I couldnt believe it!!!! Alan had mistaken me for a 'lady of the night'. It was at this point I really wished that Michelle had been more frugal with the blusher. I nodded to Alan as I walked past him to the cashier.
Boots was my next port of call, and I promise you that their makeup removal wipes are very good value and effective.
As I arrived back home, my husband enquired as to my day, 'I bumped into Alan Smith and his wife' I said 'but he didnt recognise me' 'Understandable', Tony replied, 'Its gotta have been over 20 years since he last saw you'
In theory 'only 10' I thought
Great story Sue... And it is a true account, of people in the ' Concrete & Paint' Profession. :roll: 
