Mea Culpa..

[Kandor]

It was March 31st 1974...I remember it quite clearly as it was also my 22nd birthday.
The weather was really lousy that night, cold, dark, pouring with rain.
It didn't matter though, I had a great time down the Costermongers where not only had I thrashed my buddy Steve on that old Shuffleboard table, I had also gotton off with a lovely young Nurse called Wendy.
Well Steve and me walked these two girls off to the bustop then walked through the market area at the back of 'Oasis' to catch the 55 bus home..(no car in those days I'm afraid)
I remember bursting out into a John Denver song called 'I am the Eagle'
I think I'd got as far as 'am' when two coppers stepped out of a doorway and said to me..'you're nicked'
Well ok, I DO sound like a duck farting in the fog but to be arrested for singing just two notes? even I didn't think I was THAT bad.
They took me down to Steelhouse Lane where they charged me for disturbance of the peace in a residential area..
I had my belt and shoelaces taken off me so I couldn't hang myself
(like THATS going to happen!) then they threw me into Chokey...(made it Ma, top of the world)
I was bailed to appear before 'da beak' the very next morning..hmm..I only have to think about crime and I start writing like a criminal..
Now the next day in court I noticed while waiting if you pleaded guilty you were bound over to keep the peace for a year and fined a tenner...
yet if you pleaded innoncence you not only lost that days wages but you had to appear another day which meant the loss of TWO days wages plus of course you could still be found guilty.
So the Cloik to da justices....(hmmm) asked how I wished to plead..Mrs Robinsons beautiful child...answered back 'not guilty'
I had to re-appear a few weeks later where I stood up in court glared this idiot of a JP right in the peepers and asked him 'how long had the back of Oasis been a residential area?'
I also told him that if it was a crime to sing two notes on a mans birthday then we lived in a sorry country indeed..
Da Boy got off with it...'Lefty Robinson' departed from the coight..(?)
a free man...Mea Culpa? nah...I was innocent.

 

[Jerry]

criminal records

I know how you feel kandor, the only criminal record I've got is Max Bygraves greatest hits

 

[Kandor]

Singa longa braindeath.

Oh man! I've never had a record that bad! now MY Donny Osmond records are fabulous...!
That reminds me, what's small, brown and round and sings in a tree?
Des O'conker 8)

 

[Jerry]

The trouble with music

Donny who?
Seriously though ( well not that seriously) this exchange has brought back memories of my youth and why I hate Cliff Richard.
It was 1960, I was 15 years old and living in Grange Road, Small Heath and I was in love with a girl named Pauline Keogh ( not sure of the spelling) who lived in Hawkes Street.
But Pauline didn't love me ( ahh! ) she'd only got eyes for my best pal Jimmy Worrall.
But true love will sharpen the dullest wit! I hatched a cunning plan.
You see Pauline was absolutely bananas about Cliff Richard, who was the biggest thing in Britpop at the time so I took myself off to the local newsagents where there was on sale a book/magazine devoted to the aforesaid Richard boy.
My plan was to purchase said magazine and present it to said object of my desire, thus showing her what a kind and thoughtful person I was and persuading her that I was the only person worthy of her affections (pretty nifty plan hey?).
Now this magazine cost 10shillings and sixpence - for any youngsters in the audience thats 52 1/2 pence in kilos.
That may not seem like a lot but since I was only earning about three quid a week and I only had about a pound to my name at the time, it represented a huge capital investment to me.
So throwing caution to the winds I purchased what I thought would be the key to her heart, took it to her house and presented it to her.
Well what can I tell you? She oohd, she ahhd, she gushed, she swooned, she clutched it to her bosom ( the book, idiot, not me, - try to keep up! )
She said "that's the nicest thing anyone ever bought me and I'll never forget it"
I said " will you come out with me next weekend?" and she said "no" so I said "why not?" and she said "because I love Jimmy worrall and I'd never go out with anyone except him"
So I went home, alone and broken and broke.
That's why I hate Cliff Richard and newsagents and Jimmy Worrall and let's see, who else is there?...Oh yeah! The French.

 

[postie]

Jerry
You can't hate Jimmy Worrall, he was a good mate of mine, lived in the flats in Green Lane. :wink:

 

[Jerry]

Musical memories

Hi postie,
I know JW was a pal of yours as well - we've talked about it before on the old virtual brum forums - I did say I wasn't that serious. :wink:

 

[postie]

HI Jerry
I know, mate nobody could hate Jimmy.
did he have a sister named Winnie ?. :?

 

[Jerry]

Hi postie
Jimmy Worrall did have a sister but i can't remember what her name was.
That's brought back another memory you might enjoy.
we were fourteen and Jimmy's mum had let him skive off school, which she often did, I was playing truant, which I often did.
We were in Jimmy's flat when there was a knock on the door, next thing Jimmy's mum rushed in to say it was the school board man, come to see why jim wasn't at school - again!
Panic stations, Jim had to whip his clothes off and get into bed and I hid under the bed!
Jim's mum brought the school board man in and showed him Jim in his sick bed and he went away happy.
Now it occurs to me, if the local authorities could send school board inspectors around to check on kids then, why can't they do it now?. It might solve some of the problems that we all know about.