D
dollyferret
Guest
when i left handsworth grammer school(dont laff,i was a very good cheat in the 11 plus),i wasnt prepared for the shock that was to become employed ,no more bunking off and fishing at the rezzer,sitting back and having everything done for me,hiding in the attic when mom and dad had gone to work,our attic covered 3 houses and was huge and full of dust as there were big holes in the roof and it was only accessable via a trap door which my folks couldnt manage ,so i stayed up with my kit of pigeons that no one knew about(use to buy them from *the cage* at bottom of wheeler street,little did i knew that when i let them out they would fly straight back again ,so i ended up buying them again later).
Anyway the first job my dad got me was as a blacksmiths striker(i left grammer with my hat and coat and nowt else but a will to survive without doing too much effort ,horrible aint i?),whats a blacksmiths striker you ask,so did i,for if i knew i wouldnt have gone.its a job for the mentally challenged ,so i was perfect for it.in the corner of this filthy hot ,smelly inferno was a huge coal burning fire into which was plunged dozens of glowing red hot irons that are used for pneumatic chisels,next to it was this huge apparition of the devil himself ,soot stained smelly scotsman(no offence to our northern friends ,but he was scotch).his job was to pull out these irons and hold them on the anvil,while me,5foot 3 and 6 stone of skin and bones,had to pick up and weild a huge sledge hammer,which was bigger than me,and proceed to hammer it ,while JOCK turned it over and over,and honestly folks it would have made a good comedy sketch for as i swung it over my head i nearly fell bckwards 4 out of 5 times onto to the floor.by this time rob roy was ready to throw teddy out of his pram as he was on piecework rate and he werent earning any money,but did i care,no not one iouta,while he was stoking up his hearth ,i legged it out the door and spent the rest of the day in aston park trying to think up an ingenious plan as to why i got the sack.this was to be i am afraid(no i am not) the benchmark of future gainful employment tactics.one really amusing episode(although you people with a gold watch might frown upon)was i had a bet with my friend i could have 3 jobs in a day,this was the mid sixties where manual type jobs were plentiful ,pick up the paper and they were all listed in alphabetical order.First job was welding steel palletts in a factory in bracebridge street on a 6 till 2 shift,by 8am i had earned10 boband was done in ,so i said to the foreman i had forgotten to bring in my cards(you old uns know what they were) and i had to get them off my panniers on my motor bike outside,as the lady in the office wanted them straight away,off you go he said ,dont be long,that was the last he saw of me,(wouldnt go down bracebridge st for months after that in case he saw me.Job 2 was at forgings and preessworks in birch road witton 2 till 10 shift working on a huge drop hammer 5 minute training ,no ear protection away you go,frightening,4 pm came,same trick to the foreman ,got to get my cards for the lady in the office ,off you go sonny,under the security hut and away much to the amusement of my mate who was waiting outside.Job 3,this was a mind numbing experience,lucas s shaftmoor lane,night shift 9 till 6 30(i think as i never made the end),my job was to stand by a machine that stamped a number and a directional arrow on a starter motor case,i was in an elevated positionand allyou could see was thousands of these cases coming towards hanging on hooks clanking towards you like a scene out of war of the worlds,11pm came,i had to be out by 12 or the bet was off,coulnt use the card trick as there was no office open on nights,tried the dont feel well bit but he wasnt having any of that as he was short of people on his shift,went the loo and only just managed to squeeze out the window it was tight believe me,skulked across the shadows of the car park to where my bike was only to find the pole barrier was down and mr jobsworth entrenched in his hut,looking very much like captain mainwaring ,the only gap was between his hut and the barrier,but desperation is a fine mind sharpener,i went to the farthest point of the car park and jumped up and down on at least a dozen cars before the car alarm went off on a couple.mainwaring was out of his hut like a good un,over the top he went blowing his whistle and waving his torch,while ,i leapt on my bike ,stuck into gear and raced towards the gap(i remember thinking i could hearRIDE OF THE VALKERIES playing in the background ,through the gap and into the road only to met by loads of bikers from alexs in the town to see if i could make it on time which i did with 5 minutes to spare.it all sounds a bit silly now but at the time i thought it was really clever.he never paid up on the bet but i couldnt do it now (or want to as couldnt kick start the bike now
Anyway the first job my dad got me was as a blacksmiths striker(i left grammer with my hat and coat and nowt else but a will to survive without doing too much effort ,horrible aint i?),whats a blacksmiths striker you ask,so did i,for if i knew i wouldnt have gone.its a job for the mentally challenged ,so i was perfect for it.in the corner of this filthy hot ,smelly inferno was a huge coal burning fire into which was plunged dozens of glowing red hot irons that are used for pneumatic chisels,next to it was this huge apparition of the devil himself ,soot stained smelly scotsman(no offence to our northern friends ,but he was scotch).his job was to pull out these irons and hold them on the anvil,while me,5foot 3 and 6 stone of skin and bones,had to pick up and weild a huge sledge hammer,which was bigger than me,and proceed to hammer it ,while JOCK turned it over and over,and honestly folks it would have made a good comedy sketch for as i swung it over my head i nearly fell bckwards 4 out of 5 times onto to the floor.by this time rob roy was ready to throw teddy out of his pram as he was on piecework rate and he werent earning any money,but did i care,no not one iouta,while he was stoking up his hearth ,i legged it out the door and spent the rest of the day in aston park trying to think up an ingenious plan as to why i got the sack.this was to be i am afraid(no i am not) the benchmark of future gainful employment tactics.one really amusing episode(although you people with a gold watch might frown upon)was i had a bet with my friend i could have 3 jobs in a day,this was the mid sixties where manual type jobs were plentiful ,pick up the paper and they were all listed in alphabetical order.First job was welding steel palletts in a factory in bracebridge street on a 6 till 2 shift,by 8am i had earned10 boband was done in ,so i said to the foreman i had forgotten to bring in my cards(you old uns know what they were) and i had to get them off my panniers on my motor bike outside,as the lady in the office wanted them straight away,off you go he said ,dont be long,that was the last he saw of me,(wouldnt go down bracebridge st for months after that in case he saw me.Job 2 was at forgings and preessworks in birch road witton 2 till 10 shift working on a huge drop hammer 5 minute training ,no ear protection away you go,frightening,4 pm came,same trick to the foreman ,got to get my cards for the lady in the office ,off you go sonny,under the security hut and away much to the amusement of my mate who was waiting outside.Job 3,this was a mind numbing experience,lucas s shaftmoor lane,night shift 9 till 6 30(i think as i never made the end),my job was to stand by a machine that stamped a number and a directional arrow on a starter motor case,i was in an elevated positionand allyou could see was thousands of these cases coming towards hanging on hooks clanking towards you like a scene out of war of the worlds,11pm came,i had to be out by 12 or the bet was off,coulnt use the card trick as there was no office open on nights,tried the dont feel well bit but he wasnt having any of that as he was short of people on his shift,went the loo and only just managed to squeeze out the window it was tight believe me,skulked across the shadows of the car park to where my bike was only to find the pole barrier was down and mr jobsworth entrenched in his hut,looking very much like captain mainwaring ,the only gap was between his hut and the barrier,but desperation is a fine mind sharpener,i went to the farthest point of the car park and jumped up and down on at least a dozen cars before the car alarm went off on a couple.mainwaring was out of his hut like a good un,over the top he went blowing his whistle and waving his torch,while ,i leapt on my bike ,stuck into gear and raced towards the gap(i remember thinking i could hearRIDE OF THE VALKERIES playing in the background ,through the gap and into the road only to met by loads of bikers from alexs in the town to see if i could make it on time which i did with 5 minutes to spare.it all sounds a bit silly now but at the time i thought it was really clever.he never paid up on the bet but i couldnt do it now (or want to as couldnt kick start the bike now