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In pursuit of the female sex.



To be quite honest this could end up my shortest posting.
My early attempts at courting girls were dire to the extreme, in fact, lets not beat about the bush here, Liberace got more girlfriends than I did.
The only ones who would look at me were the type you only took out in a power cut and even then it wasn't so much a date as 'walkies'
It was my fault of course, I had bright red hair, spindly legs and the body of a 98lb weakling who'd been on a 6 months Atkins diet.
How many girls do you know would go out with a walking Belisha beacon?
I also had no social skills whatsover...
My Armani clothes collection was severely depleted and my Gucci welligogs were wearing thin.
Oh...and Stephen Hawkins was a slightly better dancer than me..
Nah...the sad truth is, at 14 years old personality didn't count diddly
Girls of that age only liked to be seen with lads who were handsome, popular or well dressed..I was none of those.
I tried to be funny and amusing...trouble was, Handsome lads could do that too, Me? I was just funny and ugly.
You see, what I lacked was ....ting! *Confidence!*
I came across as a loser because I was one, losing was all I'd known, I was from Nechells.
I was 18 before I got my first proper girlfriend and even then she ran off once she'd untied herself.
Still, it was a start to have a least one proper girlfriend with a pulse and two legs.
But...it was around that time that I learned lifes most important lesson.
I am who I am and if you dont like it, thats your problem...not mine.



i came from nechells kandor to. vauxhall. i was lacking in looks then but never mind i made up for it later. its like wine you mature with age. would go through that time again if given the chance. up the nechells folk. gt people. mary might no you kandor


Oh Mary, this Nechells is a wonderful sight.

Hmmm...Would I go through it all again? to do that would have to lose my Mom, Dad, my neice Suzy, my Uncles, Les, Tom, Sam, Tony, George, Robbie, Reg , my Aunts, Eva, Norma, May, and my Nan and Grandad all over again...I'd also have to go through all the pain that that bought once more.
Yes I would....
My face and body carries both scars and lines...Life put them there, behind every line and scar is a story, none of which I want to erase.
Each line and scar has taken me down a different path, twisting and turning to who knows where..I am here though, at todays destination
And where I am today I have a beautiful wife, two great daughters and the most beautiful star in the Heavens, my grandaughter Katie Green..
Yes, yes I would go through it all again but I'd weep buckets at what I knew was coming.....

And Mary? I'm sure I haven't met you, but hey! there's still time! I just hope you're a good kisser...lol



i to have a nice family kandor and a nice home . but i feel guilty some times. because my mom never had the life i have now. we never had things no food hardly like a lot of others. but i wished she was here so i could repay for allthe things she did for me . i miss my dad but i think he could have gave my mom more instead of the pub taking the money. he was always in the white towers dollman st while we was hungry. take care kandor love to your family to. mary


I fell in love at 12 and pestered the life out of Linda .we went out once and she treated me like s*,etc.
So I gave up. Until i was 15/16 and had me first kiss from Mary Wells (not the famous one).It was wet and delicious and nearly blew me head off. I was only taking her home from Air Cadets mind you . and we never had a date after even.

The next one me and my mate picked up in the street as she was walking her dog .. She packed me up cus i didnt kiss her enough.

I was a shy young thing in those days.

but you learn to cope with this stuff , and its nothing to do with your self image really or your actual looks,it is just growing up.

Me and my lovely wife have had the conversation that we wish we had met at 17 etc ,but as she says the journey she has had, is what makes her who she is now, and I might not have liked her at 17.

I try and live in the present (with a nod to the past)
We did what did given the person we were and the information we had.
at the time.
Today we are different people and I wouldnt go back not even to last week.

"regrets ? I,ve had a few ,but then again too few to mention.. I.ve lived a life that full ......" I feel a song coming on .


Je ne regret rien...

Well I'm like you, I regret nothing...um..hang on, yes I do, loads of things, but regretting them and wishing to change them are two different things.
What I am today is the end product of 18,000 days, these were good days, bad days, sad days, but each one helped form who and what I am today.
You see, we may all wish to change ourselves in someway, but who's to say our partners, wives or husbands, even our children would wish us to be anything but what we are today?
Would I change anything?
Well...I'd start with my underpants....


Kiwi Brummie Admin' Team
:D Too right Les and the sooner the better :lol: :lol: :lol: and give me back what’s left of me B.. You know what :!: :lol: :lol: Me I loved all the lads, still do but none loved me :cry: not the ones I really liked anyway. May have had something to do with the fact I wouldn't kiss back then and I wouldn't go out with any who had already been out with my friends, or sister and that left zero. That must account for the fact I married a Kiwi none of them had been anywhere in cooee of him!


Kissses from the Missus'

Is this the same 'Hot lips pomgolian' we all knew as a kid, famous for her smooching abilities? I heard you only emigrated because you'd kissed us all out.
As for your bra, No way! it still looks great under my vest and besides, it kinda takes away the attention from my pot belly.
Oh Pom, and the list of famous guys with a hammer?
Where's Jesus then? 8)


Well I,ve lived for 19,341 days so far and loved every minute of my time with all the ladies I have loved .

At least I think Ive lived that long ,I didn,t take account of leap years. I forgot to calculate the times me heart stopped for various reasons including being in love and/or coming close to death.

On amore morbid note I have feared death from about the age of ten when me grandad died and would and occasionally still wake up in the night sweating with obsolute dread .

It is the only thing that seems to be really real.

That is why I try and enjoy every single minute of every single day , dont manage to achieve it always cus I have "dragons" to fight and they wont go away.Life can be a battle soemtimes but it can be sublime as well.

On balance I think today is a good day to live...


A good day to live?

Every day we draw breath is a good day to live,
I am an Agnostic ( I never claim Atheism, no man can be no more certain there is a God than there isn't one) but as far as I'm concerned, this is it, my day...my place in the sun...
And I intend to go out with one hell of a suntan....


I can't believe that I'm the only guy on this forum that's attractive...nay..
devilishly good looking! and what a guy with the young girls I was. When the mothers saw me coming down Whitehead Rd they would drag their protesting daughters indoors for fear of them succumbing to my charms.
8) rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring........Cor I hate that alarm clock.... I was having a great dream.......can't remember what it was about now. :(


gone but not forgotten
No you're not the only one blessed with all that charm, I was and still am everything you describle. That man in your deams was actyally me. Wimmin have always fell at my beautfully pedicured feet. But then I also have the benefit of being very modest. :wink:


master brummie
I'm feeling unwell

Some time ago...Keith kindly found a 'drool' emote for the forum posters..........If my memory serves me correctly it was to compliment the 'Rogues Gallery'?
I just wondered if he had time to look for, and upload a..................'nausea/vomiting' emote? :roll:
PS - sorry if anyone feels this is 'of topic' :wink:


A handsome bit of a lad

As I've already written,
When I was born, a passing Fairy Godmother said to my Mom, 'Your son can either be utterly charming and devestatingly handsome to women or he can be funny and witty...'
How I wish Mom had chosen funny and witty.
In fact I'm so good looking my first proper girlfriend was the Midwife who delivered me.


Well I,m so good looking that ALL of the nurses
at St Chads wanted to keep me .

I found out the other day it is genetic me grandad was a tinker for the ladies and I know me dad was admired.

Dad was a one woman man (my mother )

I can,t make that claim until I met the current Mrs Williams.

My dear memsahib is the best person you could possibly want .


Childhood ?

Just been counting my days like folks before on this thread and find I have been here 23,476 days and a bit. Can't remember what I had for breekies this morning, by still have vivid memories of young and not so young loves. Its what keeps the wide world turning - that and a good belly laugh.

Does anyone remember what a 'Chuckle Muscle' is ?

Well, remember the good old days before tights, when stockings and suspenders were the 'in thing'. Where the stocking tops ended and the panties finished, there was always a bare bit.

If you could get there you were laughing.


The 3 mousekateers

So its official then...the three best looking guys in the world are all met here on this website..
So how lucky is that for all the women members here ? 8)
I just wish our wives all understood how lucky they are to have us.

Peter Walker

gone but not forgotten
Romances of youth

As a kid, I noticed I seemed to get the real urge every three years. The first was in 1939 when I was just 6 and Jeanne W (swanky name in them days) was over a year older, so she seemed like a fully grown woman to me. Not a lot happened as I remember, axcept that I once bragged to another boy "She's my tart".
Three years later it was Janet B, about whom I remember absolutely nothing now.
After a brief mid-term crush on Sheila McK which got nowhere, Jean C came into the picture in 1945 when we were both 12 and there was a nice relationship. It was always nice to see her years later.
There was another unfilled crush on Margaret McR in 1946-7.
In March 1948 at the age of nearly 15 I fell seriously for Audrey C, a bright girl two years younger than me but, looking back, a bit of a manipulator, but a nice kid.
By 1949 I was 16 and some relationship was essential. Gabrielle B was nearly two years younger, brother of my friend Paul, and both had a terrific sense of humour. She was catholic and I was new-born high Church of England and we used to talk for hours about religion. But we had a good understanding, without any real romance or anky-panky.
1951 was the most spectacular romance in my life, about which I will say no more, or about what happened and with whom in 1954 and 1957.
In 1959 I left Brum, moved to London and soon met this smashing German girl. My dad wasn't happy, but I was and still am. We have our 45th anniversary this April.


I have to say I dont think i could remember all of the lovely young things that I have known .

I tried counting them up once but got embarrased when the numbers became very high .


master brummie
This thread is nearly fifteen years old, it has slept long enough! ;) Most posters here are no longer on BHF but I could not see a better place to post.
A post today, in another thread by Postie, mentions his first love, at a tender age.
Mine was, at the time sad. In the summer of 1947 which, unlike the following winter was a lovely summer as far as I remember, the annual visit of the fair came to Shirley. I had become friendly with a lovely girl - well she was to me - who I had, presumably met on the way home from or at school. I asked my father if he would take us both to the fair, which he did, after getting permission from her mother. We had a great time, of that I am certain. I was just nine, she, I guess, a similar age. I do not know how often we met up but given our ages, and she lived a little distance away, not often I guess. The sad part was that my Nanny (my father had not yet re-married) took me to her house as I wanted to see her. We only got as far as the neighbours gate where we were told that she had gone somewhere, I don't remember where - even if I was told. Apparently her mother had committed suicide, using a gas oven!! I never found out why that had happened - children were never told about such things then - but as I got older I drew one or two conclusions. I never saw or heard of her again, but maybe one day I will. I have not mentioned names or roads as she may still be alive. But I remember her first name and surname quite vividly even after 73 years.
The next friendship was equally non productive. Around the age of 12 got to know a girl who came, from time to time, to visit relatives close by. I guess it was all 'women's talk' indoors so she was often outdoors. She came by train from a station close to Stratford-upon-Avon. I remember where she lived but not her name but sadly her relative moved away not long afterwards, so that was no.2 off the list!
But, as they say, every dog has his day, so the stars eventually shone for me. ;)