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Christmas Crackers


master brummie
We spent Xmas with our eldest son in London but promised our youngest son that we would have a pretend Xmas day on 4th January, having saved a few presents for our Grandson to open on the day. The aroma of Turkey lingered in the air,the table was laid, crackers and all, this was definitely Xmas again! As the meal progressed our son commented on how expensive Xmas crackers were , that they were bad for the environment and full of rubbish as are the jokes. I can’t say I disagree. Having discarded the paper hats a plastic paper clip, an ill-fitting plastic ring and a Yo Yo, which our Grandson couldn't comprehend, I read one of the jokes and that was enough………

Q. What do you give a man that has everything? A. Antibiotics

I tried to recall what we found in crackers in the 50's and two things came to mind - a piece of magnesium strip that burned like a firework when it was lit and a magic fish - a piece of fish shaped cellophane that wriggled and squirmed from the heat of your hand.

Coming back to reality I reminded my son of the time we bought a very expensive box of Xmas crackers in a sale at Rackhams. The box remained on top of the wardrobe until the following Xmas. When we came to pull the crackers each and every one of them was empty! He grinned and said "Yeh, I found them earlier in the year and opened them". I never bothered asking what happened to the contents, probably more rubbish!


master brummie
I am sure that our fish were blue, now they seem to be red!

The wrapper has a list of emotions or feelings that “cause” the fish to curl and move in certain ways
  • If you see just a moving head, it means jealousy.
  • A moving tail is a sure sign of indifference.
  • If you see a moving head and a moving tail, then… wait for it… you’re in love.
  • If the sides of the fish curl, then you’re fickle.
  • If the fish turns completely over, you are a false personality.
  • You don’t want to see a motionless fish because then you’d be dead.
  • If the fish curls up completely, it’s in response to the passionate side of your personality.
Blame Tom Smith for the crackers and his sons for the contents. [The History of Christmas Crackers]


Staff member
pretty sure the magic fish we had as kids were red..we got one in our crackers this year...crikey it really took me back


Lady Penelope

master brummie
We had a magic fish in ours this year - apparently it showed how passionate you are . No, I'm not telling you what it did in my hand!

Am I alone? I LOVE crackers, even the weak and corny jokes Q. Where do snowmen do their shopping? A. Iceland.

Above all, I like the way that they immediately give the table instant Christmas decoration - a coloured candle to match the crackers and there you are. If you think the contents are lame (as they usually are) why not buy a few small gifts and customise them for each person present? I think the best gift I ever got was a set of very small screwdrivers.