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Bloke in Maternity

John Young

master brummie
:) It was a nice evening had just had lamb chops & trimmings at Sisters house Oh & a pint with her Hubby & then popped in to Good Hope Hospital to see how the Mrs was doing :)
No need go home first because Sister No 2 was,doing the"Tidying etc",,Sorted Eh :wink:

Well had just stepped into the Ward when this Nurse grabbed me saying "She,s gone down" I thought flippin heck I have married a Jailbird :p Oh well In I went,,,

Nice room I thought, bright , clean & lots of gadgets Oh & there She is,, looking Ok but maybe a bit flustered,warmish even, Oh its that tent thingy over her legs :roll:
Best go over & give her a peck, she will like that,,Oh she wants to whisper to me :!:

As I leaned over she held my tie,it was a bit creased, not ironed you see, Then she gripped it (Trying to straighten it) &whispered, well almost a growl actually " IiifFFFH YyooOOOUUUHH EeeEEVVERRRHH CcooOOMMEEE
nnNNEEEEAAARRRRR Mmeeeehhhhh aaaaaAAAGGHHHAAAIIINNNNH Iiii
wwhh wwWWILLLL CccutTTTT YooouuurrrrRR NnnuuuoooOGGHHHTS OFF

Then WE joined in breathing exercises :) Exact timing too, as She gripped my tie then relaxed we both held breath (I hadn,t got much choice actually :oops: ) Ooooh THE Pain started then,,,
Never felt nothing like it before,,, I was holding her hand (It says in the BOOK :roll: ) Where did that Eagle come from :?: Landed on my hand with Five Talons locked IN,, Oooh the pain, I gritted my teeth & hung on ,didn,t have much choice really, I was screaming by then while She was laughing under a gas mask thingy,,the Nurse took that of so I tried a whiff :shock: Wow,,Man,,better than a waccy baccy woodbine :wink:
All over, there the little guy was,, another Nurse came in & said "Would you like a cup of tea?" I said Oh yes please & can my Wife have one as well :?: then the Midwife Slapped ME :D
 

SuBee

master brummie
OMG JY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well that one has made me laff the most so far..................I WAS THERE!

It's fun innit?
 
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Rod

Guest
We so often listen to tales of our wives giving birth, good to see this male perspective on things :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
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Dorothy Dodson

Guest
John how many stitches did you have, and did you have a rubber ring???

Oh i do hope not :twisted: :evil: :wink:
 

John Young

master brummie
Stitches?

Dorothy :) thanks Sweetie,,, Heh I,ve had loads of stitches(Rugby) that flippin Midwife hurt "er" hand slappin me :) Hey wots this "Rubber Ring thingy :?: " I,ve had Water-wings, & a dinghy but never one of them rings :!: O M G :shock: Its not "Girly" stuff is it,, Ooooh I,me gunna be sick :oops: Oooh Dorothy
 
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Rod

Guest
I think shes possibly on about your p............. argggggggggggghhhh
 
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Dorothy Dodson

Guest
Oh yes definitely a girly thing

:roll: :roll: :roll:
 

John Young

master brummie
Its a Book

:shock: Hi Dorothy :) I asked my Mrs & she said something about "The Grapes of Wrath" :?:

I have read Piles of books but never that one :!:

Oh well back to me dingy, Mayday, Mayday Hello Sailor :oops:
 
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Jerry

Guest
Learnt all about 'em in physics at school, they're called asteroids :lol:
 

John Young

master brummie
Maternity not Observatory

:shock: JerryD your Barmy Mate :roll:

Surely you can get Steroids in Maternity :) Not Assteroids :(

Get them in an Observatory sitting on cold metal telescopics :oops:
 
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Dorothy Dodson

Guest
I've gorra get this one out of the way - a rubber ring was what they gave you to sit on after confinement stitdches in my day. But nowadays nobody seems to stay in hospital long enough to sit down after a birth.

but yo blokes are propa screams :D :lol: :lol: :p :roll:
 

John Young

master brummie
can Ring pull?

Yo Dorothy,,,aahem :oops: We Blokes Knew :) Butt it was :roll:

Guess can take a Ring Pull Can you :lol:

Thought it was Quoit funny meself :wink:
 
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RayD

Guest
Thank goodness you have explained, Dorothy. :D

I shall be able to sleep tonight, now. :wink:
 

Pomgolian

Kiwi Brummie Admin' Team
:D Now tell the truth Young John, you thought the girls were talking about those small rubber rings they use on young sheep (Lambs) :oops: :? . That's why you were getting all hot under the collar incase you were about to get collared :lol: :lol: :lol: .
 

John Young

master brummie
Vah? secata to me?

Ho ho Chrissie Pom, Dorothy et al "Wimmin" 8)

All these Lilly,s not Gelded :roll:

Actually I was done Properly :lol: Marilyn got Two housebricks &
WHOOSH- Slam-Dunk,,,, Bruised her thumbs, Bust the BRICK :wink:
But it worked & squashed the lively Tadpoles :oops:

ps I still like Merino Non-slips though :twisted: Ahah John
 
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Grace

Guest
Different in my day. Us gals went in, men went home, came back and paced the corridor and then a newly washed little one was placed in their arms. Job done.
 
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Dorothy Dodson

Guest
So true! and also nobody else but your husband was allowed to visit. I truly believe that is the problem these days and the reason for MRSA - too many visitors.

No doubt somebody will shout me down, but to be honest i wouldn't have given 2p to have had my husband there at the birth, he would most likely have fainted anyway.

Dotxx :lol:
 
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