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A Chain Story

Oisin

Oisin

gone but not forgotten
I can't take the credit for this it was all Rod's idea.

I'll just start it off and it's up to the rest of you then...

Once upon a time, in a city far, far from the sea there lived a little boy. His hair was ginger, his eyes were blue and his name was...
 
..........Rory. His mom had really wanted a cat, and had chosen a name to suit, but when she found out she was expecting her first child, she kept the name on hold. He was a boisterious little boy who loved to.............
 
Cont,,,

,,,,Michael,,, well usually Mick to his mates & always "Mikey" to his Mother who still fussed over him like a baby even though he was now nearly a grown up thirteen,old enough to walk to the local reservoir to watch those beautiful Sails skimming the clear water & dreaming,,,,
 
:roll: well that was clever wasnt it?.......................(rolls on the floor laffing)
 
back to the story

...............they were identical twins..........but oh so different................Mickey and Rory were like Tom and Jerry at times........brothers, but fiercly competative. This became all too evident when.................
 
Duo

,,Rory spotted his brother daydreaming as usual sitting on the mooring &
scooped a can full of cold water into his empty coke can & splashed Mikey all over the back of his head,,,,
 
story

The shock caused Mikey to fall in the water. Rory jumped in to help him but they were both drowned. :cry: :( :cry: :twisted:
 
theres short and theres extending short

.............or so was thought.............until they were washed up on a deserted beach, carried by waves and driftwood, to a safe haven....................only to find..............
 
It wasn't so safe........................ The boys scanned the beach, their eyes drawn to a trail of footprints leading up the beach and away from the safety of the waterline. Rory helped his brother to stand and supported him to walk the few yards to where the footprints started, the boys were horrified, a tight knot forming in their stomachs, the footprints were those of......................
 
...........a thought to be extinct orangutan. Rory, having ginger hair, had always shown a deep interest in orangutans, and although he was breathless and weak, he just knew they had discovered something of immense importance. As his stomach unknotted from the thrill of the discovery, how he wished he had access to his world wide wildlife information pack. This needed to be reported! He dreamed of becoming wealthy and famous ..............but..................should he tell his brother?
By this time,Mickey had recovered also and gone to.....................
 
Lie Down, he really wasnt feeling well. His brother was somehow sidetracked and not at all interested in him. Mickey was worried the ape might come back, orangutan had a firce reputation!! Rory didnt seem in the slightest bit worried? What was it with him? Mickey soon fell into a deep sleep in the hot afternoon sunshine, neither him nor Rory had noticed they were being watched from deep within the trees further up the beech.

Mickey's sleep was brought to an abrupt end, a terrifying scream wrenched him from his slumber, as focus returned to his eyes he had not heard the like of which since he'd been to the ...........................
 
... the Tower Ballroom for "Grab a Granny Night". It was there that our two buys met and fell in love with the gorgeous...
 
.........Daphne.

It had all been a dream. Daphne had long been the focus of the boys attension. One gorgeous mature lady, who eyes were only for Gerald, but Gerald had spurned her for Matilda...........the boys couldnt understand why................they were lovestruck, from the moment she had asked for instructions on how to secure her ill fitting dentures, neither boy could get her tightly pursed lips from their minds. Its had started innocently with them buying her gifts, such as sterodent and poly grip.....but soon.............
 
progressed to buying large packets of Dr Wernetts Fixative, and lavendar polish and teak oil for her wooden leg.

Once again a scream brought Mickey back to reality. Rory was running hell for glory chasing a small but perfectly formed.....................
 
Tracking

,,, beautiful female Orangutan, her flowing flame coloured hair streaking
past him as he lay awakening from his nightmare,, Oh this is the reality he thought, I am dreaming of "Ladies of a certain age" while my brother is chasing pretty females about,,, righto matey he said inwardly I shall shortcut over this hill &,,,,,
 
... seek the true love of my life for I know we can never both find happiness with the same female, whatever species she maybe, or even whatever gender she is either. Being Brummies, this sea of love has been sent to test us.

I well remember the first time Villa played away at Blackpool, he told his awestruck audience, the away fans, not being familiar with what lay beneath, were throwing themselves off the pier and into the ocean, not for love of the team but for the love of the gorgeous Matilda - the love of every Brummie's life, which causes quite a lot of competition, particularly with the men. However, she is equally admired even amongst Albion fans who reside in West Bromwich and that's nowhere near Birmingham or the Tower Ballroom, and is only a little nearer Blackpool.

All was now well with the co-joined twins until a passing cyclist flagged down a speeding police car but alas, Matilda wasn't in that either. She was in fact...
 
darning socks in a seedy flat in Cleethorpes. She hadn't had a good life, it had been very hard being a surrogate mother to a cloned orangutan. Oh yes, they had paid her to keep her mouth shut, but £22.70 didnt go that far, not when you had a fetish for eating..............
 
bananas..........in fact it was when she was swinging from tree to tree with Rory, heading for a tree house that Mikey had build when he was 10, having early aspirations to become an architect, that the greatest of questions would be posed........................

Would polygrip stand the test?

................as they reached G- force 8, Daphne's pearlers took on a life of their own, imagine jaws out of water and you are halfway there.

Then, horror on horror struck.............daphne's blue and white baggie's scarf caught on a banana tree branch and................
 
......to her horror unravelled. She was left hanging by a thread, but being the resourceful type she grabbed desperately for her dentures, caught them as they sailed past and at arms length nipped the remaining piece of wool.

Like Alice she found herself falling into..................
 
and

,,,, Well i never,thought Mikey,,that old tree house taking all that strain & shenanagins, Wow that "Lady" is really agile, must have been the Tai Chi lessons she learned recently at that mysterious snug place somewhere,,,
 
..............and infact Daphne had being doing just that!

She was secretly an MI5 agent, and posed as the local lollipop lady for the schoolchildren...Tai Chi, enabling her to step out into the road to get to the other side (one legged chicken - get it?, oh well, my humour is wasted on here, back to the story before someone(JY) slips in his bit first :roll: ) ....infact thats where Mikey and Rory, first set eyes on her.

Every morning and afternoon she would walk to the school with Arthur, the children had never seen an orangutan kept as a pet before..............but little did they know........Arthur was not a genuinne primate........he was infact............
 
.......so JY removed the auburn wig that he had borrowed from Les, and in a sulking sort of way, that only true urangatans know about, he was escorted back to the institution...........here he was welcomed back with open arms.......made a cup of tea and given a banana to munch on and he was as happy as Larry................after an hours rest.................the nurses told him to pop his white coat back on as it was time for ward rounds and he needed to review his patients!


THE END..............................unless anyone knows better :wink:
 
So what was so funny, Jackie? :? You must have a very weird sense of humour. :(

There was sadness, pain, heartache and trauma in this tale and all you can do is laugh!!! 8)
 
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