• Welcome to this forum . We are a worldwide group with a common interest in Birmingham and its history. While here, please follow a few simple rules. We ask that you respect other members, thank those who have helped you and please keep your contributions on-topic with the thread.

    We do hope you enjoy your visit. BHF Admin Team

Reindeers roasting on an open fire (Jack Frost picking at your nose)

Don't go over the top

You ask why not spoil your little grand daughter Will she grow up to expect gran and grand dad to supply every dream? one day you may have more grand children, will you be able to satisfy everyones dreams? Be careful not to out shine her other grand parents too not to mention her parents! Yes be generous but remember children get pleasure in the time you give them more than the quantity of gifts you can provide.
I love Christmas too but I'd love the child as much in January February March etc you can earn her love any month with a magic walk kicking leaves about or splashing in a puddle or being able to feed the ducks or the stories you can tell, as easily as giving her everything she asks for.
Its great that you feel so generous but keep some of the surprises for when she visits or is sick or sad when a treat will be much more apprieciated.
Sorry to put a dampener on our enthusiasm but I've had to pick up the bits after an over enthusiastic gran and a very sad "other" gran who did her best but couldn't compete
Trees
 
Hello Trees,

Well I have to pick you up right there..
I'm very lucky, the few on here who know me personally also know I'm not mean...I dont measure 'meaness' by wealth either, I'm hopefully generous in both material things and spirit.
I'm a very lucky man, my Wife and I probably have more disposable income than a lot of people earn, but again, that isn't how I measure being a 'Good' Grandparent.
I give Katie far more of my time and love than I do my wealth,
And don't you know the amazing thing about love?
no matter how often you give it out, it's never diluted.
The fact other Grandparents dont quite get it 'right'
Well I'm sorry, but that's their problem, not mine, it just doesn't apply to me...
I love my Grandaughter, I spoil her, but don't think I spoil her with just monetary things...
I give her the two most precious things I have.
Like I've just said above...my love and my time.
 
Les I think trees has made these comments not knowing the man. I know personally of your genorosity to others. I also know of the time you spend with your lovely granddaughter at the park, bonfire night etc. Also I know from your posts that your childhood was tough so this is one reason to spoil your family if you can. I know the things you do are not just about money but lets be realistic it helps. I have a granddaughter and her other grandparents can give her a lot more presents than my husband me. But I take her to feed the ducks (I have posted pics) we have sleep overs can you believe she wants sleep overs with Nan, well she only three. We dress up and play hairdressers. I don't think she realises I am one! I think if you enjoy your grandchildren it doesn't matter as long as you have fun. I am lucky I also have a grandson of the same age and his other Nan and granddad are in another country, so we talk about them draw pictures and write silly notes. I know they appreciate this. We must give and take these little ones love all there relatives it not up to us to judge. Les I know you are a great granddad............Have the nits gone???
 
Christmas giving

Hello both,
I never said anything about being "Mean" and I am delighted you do give the most precious gift "your time" My comments were not directed at any particular person nor intended to criticise you but were from my experience of children who have everything they ask for, with out a second thought to how much it has cost. All too often I have seen children showing off the latest toy or gadget and see the sadness on the face of others who just can't have the desired object. I also know how hurt my mum was not being able to compete with our child's other grand parents on the presents front, and how bad I felt when Granpa bought the bike he wanted when we had bought a much more modest one ourselves, naturally it was our present that had to be returned to the shop so how do you think it felt when he told people granpa had given him a bike but he couldn't remember what mum and dad had bought.
I hope Katie and all children have a wonderful Christmas and from what you say I'm sure she will.
My present to you and any one with youngsters to read to is the christmas story to on my web site, written a few years back to comfort a child who was being bullied https//www.mcmullin.plus.com
Trees
 
Like most grandparents, we give our grandchildren everything we can, both monetarily and spiritually, purely for our own selfish satisfaction. In fact I think it's a pity we can't have grand kids without having kids - they're a PITA.
 
Oh how I agree Oisin. I have the time and no parental stress is that why they call me silly nanny! My husband and I went to our grandsons nativity play. He is only three and we were amazed at what was achived by the teachers. The sad thing was this was the live first nativity play my husband had seen. At 62 he was always at work while our son's were doing there plays. I bet there are a few reading this who were the same!
 
Trees, Oisin I suppose the title of this thread is enough. Typical of Kandor I have been tittering all evening............only he does this :D:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
 
Trees, a lot of what you say is true, in many cases, but not this one.
Kandor (Les) would never go out of his way to make others feel uncomfortable about his giving. It's in his nature to give and if for some reason the other Grandparents were unable to give the same, he would find a way of including them in the giving.
I know 'the Man' (We finally met this Summer) and his generosity is from the heart and not from ego busting on his part.

He is someone who has over the past few years visited a lonely old lady in her 80's. He has taken photo's, videos, spend his time with her and bought flowers and chocs for her. She was until this year the mother of a total stranger (well one he can't remember throwing MUD at as a child) who lives 12000 miles away... He is unique... and knows the true meaning of giving at Christmas and every other time of the year.

On the subject of Grandchildren, last night I put two of my eldest Grandsons on a plane to the UK...
They are going to visit and stay for Christmas their dad in Kent. They have only seen their dad three times in 10 years, so I'm hoping all goes well for them and that they enjoy the UK.

I already miss Jamie (He's the Grandson who lives with us) as I have lost one of my 'Typists' and my shoulder is still very painful... ah well it all makes for an interesting life I guess LOL:)

Pom :angel:
 
What really is loving a child - and what is spoiling? There is a fine line. . The trick is Katie isn’t taking advantage of you her buying things –

So in your defense Les I am sure you love Katie and read to her – Sometimes a good book makes all the difference in the world. Tucking her into bed and making sure she has no problems. Watching T.V sharing a movie with her. . . I am sure you explain what’s going on and have been surprised how much Katie has learned. . That’s not spoiling her that is loving her. .

Though you have said on occasion you are a non believer I understand why Christmas is your favourite time of year - after all it is a SEASON OF LOVE. Celebrated together Jesus’ birth, Chanukah, as well as those ancient pagan notions related to the change of seasons and the circle of life. These things have relevance to human life and society and apply regardless of whether or not you believe that there is such a person as God, or that Jesus was the son of God.

Peace on earth and goodwill towards men, are not simply Christian ideals, they are also secular and humanistic ideals, as well as ideals valued by many of the religions of the world. I am sure you will enjoy the holiday season for this reason and wish people Merry Christmas as I do to you Les ‘Merry Christmas to you and yours’
 
As my hero Popeye once said.

Well thank you folks for defending me so elequently and so warmly...
I feel like I'm almost among friends.. :)
Ahhh Beryl, yes I am an Athiest and will always remain so, sure I might make references to a
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Les though I haven’t met you personally as others have been privileged to do. . I have read between many lines of your varied postings and believe I have come to know the inner man as one who is kind, decent, loving and having a definite quirky sense of humour. . .

Regarding Katie - I don‘t think you spoil her at all you just love her to bits...and there is nothing wrong with that. Believe me when she is all grown she will always have a special place in her memory reserved for you as I have with my grandad. . . and so life will go on

My Parents never told me that they loved me when I was growing up either – yet, I knew they did – It wasn’t until we came to Canada – (Canadian folks being more demonstrative) they finally broke out of their shell

Les I think your decision to basically accept the inevitable, and join in the SPIRIT is a wise one. To either quote, or paraphrase our old friend WILL - 'AH, WHAT'S IN A NAME?'

So Les let the season of goodwill and love proceed with your blessing – and join with the spirit, if not the dogma, of the season. . . All the best
 
Just an update.

Here's an update on my 'GRANDBOYS':
After the long flight they touched down in London Sunday morning 10:40am (Your time). They were met at the Airport by their Dad and his partner and their baby half brother (Dad's second New Family since being in the UK). Tomorrow they will meet Dad's first 'New Family' and two more half brother's. (Confused ? I know I am LOL;)).

I got a text last night to say they were safe and a phone call this evening. Jamie asked when do the weather people in the UK turn on the Central heating as it's cold enough to freeze his 'Manhood' off LOL :)

Pom :angel:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top